Oh big surprise of surprises! Xyience continues to slide down the slippy slopes of financial ruin and has just filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, which sounds much more serious that Chapter 10 or 9. At least it’s not CHAPTER 13. I’m not actually sure what the different chapters entail but 13 is a bad ass number. Those familiar with the case, either through Rich Bergeron’s insane but probably true rantings or Adam Swift’s Payout site, know that Xyience has been in trouble for a while.

Without going into conspiracy land, the general gist of the story is that Lorenzo Fertitta and Dana White are highschool buddies with the original owners of Xyience, Russel and Jennifer Pikes. Lorenzo bailed Xyience out several times over the years, most recently to allegedly cover overdue sponsorship money owed to UFC fighters.

But a small product line, insane advertising budget, and a whole lot of alleged embezzling sunk the company into debt, and a few months ago they fired their entire sales staff. From there the company’s been coasting on fumes, and now here we are: Bankruptcy land.

To me, I don’t really give a shit. I’m just glad to see Xyience off the center of the Octagon canvas and out of the hands of every UFC fighter who wins a bout. What about the loser? Why doesn’t the loser get to sip from a closed can of delicious Sour Apple Xenergy too?