Everyone’s favorite knee-destroying simpleton is back in action tonight, as Rousimar Palhares will face Mike Massenzio, who’s fresh off a 3-round beatdown of Steve Cantwell in October. “The Master of Disaster” looked great in that fight, but keep in mind that was Cantwell’s fourth loss in a row, Massenzio is 2-3 overall in the UFC, and Paul Harris’s only UFC losses were to Hendo and Marquardt. So suffice to say the smart money is on “Toquinho” here.
Hoosimar is a straight-up limb-collecting beast, but he’s also developed a bad but hilarious habit of going either too long or not long enough… kinda like my sex life! Wait, that’s not funny. 🙁 Anyway, what will it be this time? Will he come within a cunt-hair of knocking his opponent out, only to stop and jump on the cage thinking it’s over? Will he get knocked out while pausing to contemplate if his opponent is greased? Or will he simply tear the poor bastard’s knee ligaments apart like fried chicken even after the tap, as he’s done several times? Maybe they should get the crowd to yell and hold up signs to let him know when to go and when to stop, like Forrest Gump.
What Will Paul Harris Do? That is the question I put to you in the comments section, dear Jackals. I tells you what though, one thing you can bet on is that he’ll win.
Props to CAP for the inspiration.