“One’s the son of illegal immigrants who came here to steal American jobs, the other’s from South America or some crap.  The rest is virtually identical.”

It’s been a long time since there was a threesome at the UFC’s commentary table (not counting Chuck Liddell’s after-hours activities), but that’s about to change at their Fox debut this weekend when none other than Cocksword himself will join Joe and Goldie as an “analyst.”

“This is focused on the heavyweights and the heavyweight championship fight on Saturday night between Cain Velasquez and Junior dos Santos,” said White. “We’re going to be talking about Alistair Overeem and Brock Lesnar. Overeem will be there, and Brock Lesnar is actually going to be one of the analysts on the show, breaking down the fight. He [defended the title] against Cain Velasquez, and he was supposed to fight Junior dos Santos, so his opinion is interesting.”

So if you’re wondering why the fuck Lesnar of all people would be on the mic, the answer is so that they can promote his upcoming fight with Overeem.  This is obviously not something that the UFC often does, and in fact I can’t remember anyone besides Randy Couture being the third man (also known as “Lucky Pierre”) in the booth.  But like it or not, Lesnar is one of the highest profile names to casual fans, and particularly to those who don’t usually watch MMA at all.  His personal politics also go together with Fox News like peas and carrots, but this is really about the “Fox newbs” who will recognize that ex-wrestler guy and then go buy the PPV to watch him ultimate-fight some huge black fellow from Europe.

Hopefully they’ll have something more to help fill the extra time, since Cain vs JDS will be the only fight aired no matter how long it lasts, leaving literally 90% of the card on the Facebook stream.  Speaking of which, that whole Facebook experiment will soon be over.

. . . White also confirmed that all UFC preliminary bouts are headed to Fox platforms in 2012, spelling the end for Facebook streams.

“When this deal starts in January, every live fight, no matter what it is, all goes to Fox,” said White. “Some are going to FX and some are going to Fuel. It’s going to depend, but every live fight will be on a Fox platform.”

The executives attending the call further broke down the distribution of content between Fox, FX and Fuel TV. As expected, the UFC will air four live events on Fox and six live events on FX each year, along with weekly broadcasts of a new, live version of “The Ultimate Fighter” on the latter channel.

That’s right, soon the whole undercard, and sometimes the entire card, will be aired on some combination of the three channels, though it sounds like the undercards will probably be on Fuel.  To those who doubt that Fox would devote so much airtime to the UFC, the GM of Fuel TV claims a full 25% of their programming will be UFC content, so there.  That also includes pre- and post-fight specials starting this weekend, for those who enjoy the kind of yackity-yack analysis shows that seem to make a football game last an entire day.

So awesome news for those who get FX and Fuel.  For those who don’t, well… sucks to be you.  For us Canuckistanis, FX Canada just started up this month, though they’re not airing the new season of “Sons of Anarchy”, much to my annoyance.  This is presumably because it’s already on Super Channel in Canada, so they probably have to wait for that existing contract to expire before they can run the new episodes of their own show.  How is that relevant, you ask?  Because I predict a similar situation with the UFC.  Fuel doesn’t exist in Canada, but Rogers Sportsnet is already one-stop shopping for all UFC cable content, regardless of whether it’s on Spike, Versus, Ion, or “ESPN 8: The Ocho” in the States.  So anything on Fuel in the US will be on Sportsnet in Canada (or at least the stuff that matters), and probably anything on FX too for at least the first while.  Whether they’ll eventually move to FX Canada remains to be seen, but for those of us who are on Rogers cable, it’s all good.  For those who aren’t, well… sucks to be you.  Seriously dude, get some decent channels already, it sucks hanging out at your place.