So much for our totally legit superfight conspiracy theories. It looks like both Jon Jones and Georges St Pierre will be busy NOT fighting Anderson Silva this fall. Jones will face off against Alexander Gustafsson at UFC 165 in Toronto, while Dana White told media at yesterday’s open workouts that Georges St Pierre and Johny Hendricks would probably face off in November at UFC 167. That event will be held in Las Vegas, the first time since 2010 that Georges has fought outside of Canada.

The only hope we have now is that Dana White is misleading us all with false news of GSP’s next fight. That the fight is not official and will not be official for the next three weeks as we wait for Anderson Silva to fight Chris Weidman. That Georges will agree to fight the larger Silva on four month’s notice. That Hell will freeze over. That pigs will fly.

Pardon me while I go cry on my Japanese body pillow, Michiko. Her tiny soft polyester breasts are all I have in the world to blunt the pain of these superfights never coming together.

(poster by the disgustingly talented Nixson Sysanga)