Fedor made an appearance on The MMA Hour and amazingly, Ariel was able to get more than one word answers out of him for the most part.  Unfortunately, Fedor is like Rush Limbaugh; you already know exactly what he’s going to say before he says it.  His interviews are death.   I can’t imagine how boring it would be to only listen to the audio, with all the extended translation time, awkward silences, and general lack of anything really interesting being said. 

To get any enjoyment, you’ll have to watch the video of the interview and see the real star of the show, Fedor’s longtime translator, Tanya.   She gets flustered, agitated, amused, and confused (all the feelings that Fedor killed and ate many moons ago) while she feverishly scribbles down Ariel’s barrage of awkwardly worded questions.  Someone should have been kind enough to let her know that she was on camera, though I’m sure glad they didn’t.

But beyond my strange fascination with the harried linguist, there was an actual interview taking place, so here are the takeaways, few and insignificant as they are –

-Fedor is considering retiring after his Strikeforce contract is up in a year, but that, of course, is up to God’s Will.  He cites his age, and nagging injuries as the reason.

-He’s for Olympic drug testing because he wants an even playing field.

-He questions how Overeem was able to get so friggin huge in such a short time, but he’s NOT insinuating anything.

-He likes watching Cain Velasquez (yet he couldn’t remember his name) and thinks Cain will be champion for a long time if he can stay disciplined.

-He doesn’t watch much MMA and would rather watch cartoons with his daughter than spend time watching fights.

-He never met with Dana White on some isolated island several months back (though this might be an issue with the translation).

-Dana White is all about what’s good for his business, which may be why he crosses the line sometimes.

-He is not friends with Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vadim is.

-He wore his famous sweater until it wore out, and he doesn’t even remember if he has it anymore.  If he can find it, he will present it to Ariel as a gift the next time they meet.  Fuck you Ariel.

everytime Fedor laughs, a mail-order bride gets her green card

 

more Tanya after the jump!

the mic smells like cock ever since the CB Dollaway interview

 

 

 

 

Also check out Matthew Polly’s own interview with Fedor.