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Imagine my shock this morning as I check the MSNBC (I am a pinko after all) to make sure the world hasn’t gone to hell in a handbasket and I find MMA on there! No, not rave reviews for the season premiere of the Ultimate Fighter. It’s another shocked and breathless article about KIDS DOING THE MMA!

Video posted online shows the boys, ages 8 and 9, grappling and wrestling, watched by an audience of about 250 people. A scantily clad female paraded on stage between rounds, The Telegraph reported. The fight, presented to a sold-out, tickets-only audience, lasted about ten minutes, said the U.K. newspaper.

A clip of the video (which can be seen on the Telegraph’s website here) shows crowds outside a large, caged ring cheering as the boys wrap each other in head locks, wearing no protective gear.

One of the boys looks as if he is crying at one point in the video, reported The Telegraph.

Event organizer Steven Nightingale, 28, a professional cage fighter, told the newspaper the sport is safe.

“The kids are not getting hit or anything at all when they are under age. We do not let them strike – punch and kick – until the age of 14 or 15,” he said. “The kid [crying] has never been beaten before; he is the one who wins the gold medals.”

Sooooo wait a second. No striking allowed. So this is basically a grappling match? Goddamnit, UK media. If you’re going to manufacture a controversy, at least add some pornstar midgets into the mix. This isn’t the first time newspapers have been sold off the imagined misery of kids forced to fight. Kickboxing champ John Wayne Parr got crucified by the Australian media for allowing his daughter to kickbox. Meanwhile, Toddlers and Tiaras is still on TLC every week to the delight of creepy old pedophiles everywhere. Bravo, society. You’ve got your priorities in check!