Hey, friends and family of Fightlinker readers. I know how this kind of thing works. You don’t normally come onto this site, but you’re at a loss for what to get the special MMA fan in your life. So you’ve gone through their browser history in the hopes that it will inspire some sort of gift ideas. The transvestite pornography site you found in there didn’t help, and now you’re here. Well, I can help solve your Christmas present conundrums. Here’s a few gift ideas for you:

The UFC Ultimate Fight Collection 2011: Typically your average electronics box store only has crappy single UFC events or generic knockout compilation DVDs for sale, but this year the geniuses at Zuffa finally gave MMA fans something to get excited about: a collection of all the best fights from the past year. This is a no-brainer gift for anyone who loves MMA or sorta likes MMA and needs to be brainwashed Clockwork Orange style to hit that next level. At 100 bucks it’s a bit pricey but considering it’s 40 hours of entertainment on 20 shiny discs, it’s almost too cheap to pass up.

Tapped Out: Matthew Polly’s latest book. The majority of MMA books out there were written by hacks, but Polly’s is an exception. Documenting Matt’s transformation from a hard drinking fast food eating old guy into a hard drinking fast food eating amateur MMA fighter, it’s a hilarious tome that explores the world of combat sports from Russia to Thailand to Las Vegas. Team it up with his first book American Shaolin for even more reading enjoyment.

An All Elbows shirt: The MMA world is awash in douchbag clothing, which sucks because it makes the laziest Christmas present – a t-shirt – much more difficult to fall back on. But if you want to get your special friend a quality shirt that doesn’t look like it was puked on by a wizard, there’s no better choice than an All Elbows shirt.

Scramble Stuff: For the jiu jitsu freak in your life. May I recommend the Scramble Essentials shirt or the sick ‘Headgi’ hat? Throw in a sticker or three and you’ll be getting hugs so tight they’ll feel like an arm triangle.

MMAliens: Much better than those Round 5 figurines which look like Downs Syndrome versions of the fighters they represent. A bit pricier, but the person who receives them can honestly say “They’re collectables, not a toy!”

Oldschool MMA posters: Nothing says ‘Cool Grandparents’ like giving your grandchild a PRIDE OWGP 2006 poster.

After the jump, some presents for the women in your life!

For the ladies:

A UFC Hoodie: There’s nothing hotter than a chick who’s into UFC, except a chick who’s so into the UFC she wears UFC swag. This hoodie looks pretty hot. Now imagine your girl wearing it and nothing else.

3 Months of BJJ Lessons: Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach him to fish and he’ll eat for life. A girl on a diet stays thin for the diet but instill the joy of training in her and … well, you get the idea. Joking aside, this isn’t just about passive aggressively implying your significant other needs to lose weight. Martial arts are great for your discipline, confidence, and overall happiness. Just don’t blame me if she leaves you for that guy at the school who kinda looks like Georges St Pierre. And if jiu jitsu seems too sweaty and gross for her, most schools have kickboxing classes as well.

Octagon girl replica uniform: This is more of a gift for you than her, but still. Do it. DO IT.