A funny thing happened for last week’s Hammer contest: no one entered. That’s right … other than one deaf person sending me a picture of himself giving me the finger, I got zero subs. Zip. Nada. It was at that point that I kinda realized perhaps my contest was a little insensitive, even for the jackals. Or maybe just lame. I dunno.

But the show must go on! We have 5, count’em, 5 Hammer packs and while they do not contain actual hammers they do contain a Tapout shirt *insert double guitar 80s power chord* and some Hammer movie paraphernalia.

We’re now moving the contest on into SUDDEN VICTORY mode, and here’s how it works: Send in your imaginary answers to the these three completely fake questions about the life of Matt Hamill:

  • What magical gift was Matt Hamill rewarded with after saving the King of Cincinnati from bears?
  • What inspirational message did Matt’s great grand uncle leave on his pizza spelled out in pepperoni?
  • What was the name of the evil wrestling champion Matt Hamill sent back to another dimension?

Place your answers in the comments to this post or email them to me at [email protected]. Winners will be announced TOMORROW (Thursday noon) so get your entries in now! We wanna give you free stuff! And of course don’t forget to check out the Matt Hamill biopic, The Hammer, in select theatres now!