This month’s issue of FIGHT! features an in-depth article on the legendary Wanderlei Silva. We already know Wanderlei hates Christmas so it comes as a surprise that he likes puppies. Then again, Hellboy has a soft spot for kittens and he’s the spawn of Satan.

The story goes that Mauricio “Shogun” Rua owned a pitbull who gave birth to a litter of puppies. Wanderlei expressed interest in having one (likely by pointing and saying “Wand hungry”) and Shogun, pal that he is, forked over a puppy, no questions asked. A few weeks later, Shogun (or should we say “Indian Giver”) shows up asking Wanderlei for money. Wanderlei claims he thought it was a gift. Looks like we have a disagreement between friends, so what is the only logical way to settle it? You guessed it: cage fight.

To quote the Axe Murderer:

All I will say is that we went at it very hard and the fight ended in the first round. And I did not pay for that puppy.

Wanderlei goes home with a baby pitbull and Shogun goes home with his manhood completely dominated and no money. I question if they ever actually decided to settle the disagreement with a friendly cage fight. I would like to think that when Shogun asked Wanderlei for money, Wanderlei just beat the living shit out of him, soccer kicks and all. I would also like to think that Wanderlei feeds the pitbull only raw polar bear meat, because he is a strong believer in “survival of the fittest.”