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Note to all the assassins going after Steven Seagal – aim for his pudgy ass face because he’s liable to be wearing a bulletproof kimono when you encounter him. It seems like Sensei Seagal was a few years ahead when it comes to the new American fad of trying to bulletproof everything. In an article describing a Columbian company’s bulletproof backpacks and children’s clothing, they reveal the custom work they did for the action star:

Lest anyone question whether these garments will be the real deal, the company’s head of research and development threw out some high-profile customers to back up its safety claims.

“Three royal families in the Middle East are customers of ours. We made a bullet-proof kimono for the American actor Steven Seagal. Our experience is beyond question,” she explained.

Vice sent one of their correspondents down to Columbia to see exactly how invincible this stuff really was and he got to try on Seagal’s bulletproof kimono. Unshockingly enough, a Seagal affectionado will recognize the kimono as one of the three tent-sized jackets Seagal wears pretty much all the time.

They’re pretty effective too … the guy gets shot from about three feet away and doesn’t even suffer a bruise. This means the next time some madman with an assault rifle starts shooting something up, the safest place may be where ever Steven Seagal is. Not only would bullets bounce off him as he unleashes deadly stuff upon the shooter, but he’s also a nice giant barrier to hide behind.