Some people just rub each other the wrong way. Take Dana White and Roy Nelson as an example. Even when Roy was starting out and hadn’t developed a reputation as an epic shit disturber, Dana was constantly harping about his weight and his mullet and basically all of the awesome shit that sets Roy apart from the 300 bland uninteresting guys clogging up the UFC’s roster these days. At this point, Roy’s beyond caring:

“You just got remember that mine and Dana White’s relationship is like were a husband and wife,” Nelson said. “I do the man’s stuff around the house. I do the fighting, all the man’s stuff and he does all the woman stuff — all the yapping.”

I see where he’s coming from there, but if you ask me Dana White acts more like a dickhead dad. Check out this quote and tell me it doesn’t sound like some crew cut military father chewing out his disappointment of a son:

He’s the ultimate underachiever. Comes into my office and bitches that he wants more sponsors. Really? Well you got a mullet down to the middle of your back. You got a Santa Claus beard that comes down to here, and what pops out from under that beard is this huge massive roll. What company wants to throw their logo on that? Cut the beard. Cut the mullet. It’s 2012. Cut the mullet. And take your career a little serious.

When I told him cut the mullet get in shape, I’ll send a video crew and we’ll video the whole transformation of Roy Nelson and all this other stuff. What’s he do? Next time I see him he looks exactly the same, mullet is a little longer and he grew this huge beard. And I walked by him as we were heading out to the press conference and I said “Oh yeah, good to see you took my advice. You look fantastic. You look really good.”

GET OFF MY BACK, DAD! Being a UFC fighter has to be stressful enough without having to worry about whether your boss is okay with your haircut. That’s some bitch in a beauty salon shit right there, Dana. And just another example of how the UFC fun police are getting out of control. Do you have ze Führer’s permission to wear your beard in this way?