You’d think on the Monday after breaking another person’s arm backwards, that’s what we’d be talking about in relation to Ronda Rousey. Instead, the MMA world is a flutter over the twitters sent back and forth between Rousey and former female Fedor equivalent Tara LaRosa. Lemme sum that up for ya:

Afterwards, Ronda’s mom went on her blog (she has a blog! And it’s just as good as you’d expect based on all the stories we’ve heard about her) and had this to say about the haters and game players:

There seems to have been quite a bit of trash-talking from some woman trying to pick a fight with Ronda. I could tell her she might as well save her breath.

When Ronda was barely 17 years old, she was number one in the U.S., would go to judo tournaments and her competitors, all much older and with many more years of competition experience would walk by, try to catch her eye and glare at her.  Since Ronda was a huge Pokemon fan, she spent all of her time in between matches playing on her Nintendo and never even noticed these people giving her the evil eye.

One woman skipped several tournaments setting up a head to head match against Ronda that would occur at either the Olympic trials or the senior nationals. We were sitting at a tournament and my friend commented, “You notice that (*** ) didn’t show up again? She’s trying to psyche Ronda out. She wants Ronda to get all nervous about fighting her, and then have a let down when she’s not here. She’s hoping your daughter will convince herself they won’t have to fight, and then, when Ronda is unprepared, she’ll show up. You better tell your daughter to be mentally ready at any time.”

I looked down at Ronda, sitting on the floor, playing Pokemon and said, “I’m not telling her anything. Ronda never thinks about those women walking by her trying to stare her down, and she certainly doesn’t think about whether so-and-so is going to show up at this tournament. If anything, she is thinking of some excuse she can use to convince Jim Pedro that she’s close enough making weight that it’s okay for her to have a chocolate doughnut.”

Ronda paused in Pokemon for a minute, looked up and complained, “Big Jim will never let me have a doughnut.”

Later, she put her Pokemon game down, went out and won the senior national championships.

So just to summarize this story in embarassing mom keypoints. “Okay there, when Ronda was a wee teenager she did nothing but play pokemon all day. No time for boys, no time even for showers. Because of the smell she had a nickname that rhymed with Ash, the big Pokemon hunter in the game. I’ll let you guess what it was, now. Anywho, some other girls were trying to mess with Ronda but she was all like ‘I love Pokemon, gimme a goddamn donut *burp*’ And not only did she win the title, but all the donuts too. The end.”

Great story, mom. Next time someone calls out Ronda, her mom should bring up all that bedwetting she did through high school and how she got through that period without friends just fine too.