You know your testosterone levels are abnormally high when you piss in a test tube and the test tube promptly grows a moustache, smokes cigars and demands to know what kind of scotch you have. Such is the case with jiu-jitsu stud Robert Drysdale, who’s 6-0 as a pro and was set to make his Octagon debut at UFC 167 – that is, until the urine sample he submitted to the Nevada State Athletic Commission began watching old Lee Marvin movies and talking about “picking up some whores on the Strip.”

As per MMAJunkie:

The Nevada State Athletic Commission has declined to medically clear the jiu-jitsu player turned MMA fighter to compete at next month’s UFC 167 event after an out-of-competition drug test revealed an elevated testosterone-to-epitestosterone (T/E) ratio.

Drysdale (6-0 MMA, 0-0 UFC), who was scheduled to meet light-heavyweight Cody Donovan (8-3 MMA, 1-1 UFC) in the Nov. 16 event’s first preliminary-card bout, was flagged with a 19.4-1 T/E ration, which is more than three times the NSAC’s 6-1 limit. He tested negative for a variety of steroids.

To put things into perspective, a normal urine sample looks like this:

Urine_sample SAFE

In contrast, the urine sample Drysdale submitted looked like this:

RonSwanson SAFE

Neither Drysdale nor the UFC have commented. However, when reached by phone, the urine sample called me a “son of bitch” and hung up.