Watch out, UFC fighters! Renzo Gracie is talking about competing in the UFC again.

“Believe it, there’s nothing that I want to do more than to be back in the cage, to be back fighting. I just love doing that. Life has been pushing me everywhere but in that direction, but now I’m getting so tired and frustrated with everything else that I’m going to just bury myself into a mat and train the whole day, and do what I love, which is training and fighting. For sure, I’ll be fighting again… Man, I’ve just begun training again and I’m feeling good. I had a few problems in the family and now I got everything tuned up, everything is getting better. So I’m looking to be in top shape in three or four months from now, and from there I’ll set up a date.”

I don’t think there’s a person who reads this that thinks another fight in the UFC would go well for the 46 year old Gracie. Fortunately this isn’t the first time Renzo has talked about coming back for another fight ‘in a few months.’ My bet is he’s been telling people this same thing on and off for the past three years. The fact that he said it on a big platform like The MMA Hour doesn’t make it any more likely to happen … it just means more press outlets have ended up reporting his words for pageviews and profit.

This is what I like to call non-news news: stuff that ain’t gonna happen (and we all know it ain’t gonna fucking happen) that gets covered anyways because hey, it’s a sexier headline than any of today’s real but boring news. Now let’s ignore any more Renzo fighting talk and concentrate on amusing Renzo anecdotes instead. A great one about Renzo outsmarting an oversized bully after the jump.

(as told by Dave Branch)

He told me a story about one time when he was in Brazil. There was a bully that kept f***ing with him, right. Renzo said that he couldn’t beat the guy, because the guy was much bigger than he was. The bully, in Brazil, he was like a good soccer player or something, so Renzo tricked him.

He told the bully to meet him at the beach. Renzo took two boxes, and one of the boxes was empty, it was just an empty box. He took the other box, and he put it over a small boulder. He told the guy, ‘I bet you my man, I can kick this box farther than you into the water.’

Of course he kicked the box that didn’t have a rock on the inside of it. He kicked the hell out of that box [laughs]. The bully is like, ‘Aw man, you can’t kick this box farther than me’, and the guy went to kick the box as hard as he could, and he broke his foot.

My God this Renzo. Dude seriously needs to write a book.