(A real thing.)

We’ve all heard from Dana White how Randy Couture is a sub-human creature who may not even have male gonads any more. This apparently stems from Randy’s decision to walk away from his UFC contract before it was officially over, and his decision to duck White’s abusive calls after White had spent an hour screaming at Randy’s agent. But what happens when we take the story out of the ULTIMATE BETRAYAL rubric Dana has put it in and look at it from a straight business point of view?

“At the end of the day, we have to recognize we are a brand,” Couture said. “We need to control our own destinies as much as we can. I think standing up for yourself and realizing I have a small window of opportunity as an athlete to make significant amount of money, and that has to carry me through the rest of my life.”

Through Spira, the UFC was notified on Dec. 21 that Couture had terminated a one-year contract that called for four appearances during UFC broadcasts on Fox. The agreement included 30-day cancellation rights for both parties for any reason.

As talks between Couture and Spike TV took shape in the fall, Couture, who was party to a non-disclosure agreement, “gave [Zuffa] every opportunity we could to make them understand without disclosing what we couldn’t disclose that things were heating up for me, and if they wanted to keep me it was going to take something significant.

“They passed.”

So let’s look at this objectively: Four sportsdesk appearances on UFC on FOX events versus a starring role in Bellator’s Fight Master series, a starring role and producer’s credit on a show called MMA Rescue, and ‘first look’ rights at a number of projects across the Viacom network (which includes Paramount Pictures, MTV, and more). And who knows how much money up front. Yeah, Randy Couture is a real betrayer choosing that over five minutes of chit chat with Curt Menefee every three months.