Remember when the UFC announced they’d be bribing / encouraging their fighters to tweet tweet tweet it up by offering $5000 bonuses every 3 months? Well, that was three months ago and here’s the first batch of winners.

Most followers: Anderson Silva, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, Demian Maia, Cris Cyborg

Highest percentage of growth in followers: Anderson Silva, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, Demian Maia, Paulo Thiago

Most creative: Forrest Griffin, Joe Lauzon, Ben Henderson, Joseph Benavidez

So long story short, Andy, Big Nog, and Demian cleaned up largely based on the UFC going to Rio. Nice to see the money going to people who need it. And somehow neither Pat Barry or Miguel Torres got love for their awesome twitters. Pat Barry even diversified from his tighty whitey underwear shots and tweeted a video of Crocop karaoke. Crocop karaoke for fuck’s sake! And Miguel Torres is great fun. There’s not a random thought that rolls through his mightily mulletted head that he doesn’t share. Just from the past few days:

  • I’m not upset I didn’t get a twitter bonus for most creative tweets, I’m from the hood I’m used to getting robbed.
  • Stuck in immigration again, why do I always have to look like a broke criminal when I travel?
  • Man created fire so woman could cook him dinner.
  • So your girl wants space, look her in the eyes & tell her we have enough of that in the fridge, then send her to the supermarket.
  • The only fixin a women should be doing is fixin me a sandwich.
  • Got asked if I was a sexist? I retorted whilst grabbing my balls, “Of course I am, who doesn’t love sex?”

If you ask me, this is a sign of inevitable PC creep. If the UFC gives Miguel Torres 5 grand for his amusing variety of ‘Woman make me a sammich’ jokes, all of a sudden they’re PROMOTING THE SUBJUGATION OF FEMALES. See, first they take away our ability to call female reporters cunts, and no one says anything because … well yeah that’s a bit whack. Next thing you know, they come for our sammich jokes and no one is left to stop them. And all of a sudden we’ve turned into giant pussies and nothing fun or interesting is ever said again. Won’t someone think of us poor men for once???