After losing to Carlos Condit back in February, Nick Diaz pulled a “I’m taking my ball and going home” type of retirement, because hey, it was a bullshit decision. Just as it was bullshit when he was yanked from his title fight against GSP for failing to honor his press obligations. And just like it was bullshit when he failed a drug test. Twice.

Life’s never ending hailstorm of bullshit is rough for everyone, but Diaz seems to have an extraordinary aversion to it. Nick has shown time and again that he simply cannot deal. So he either hides, or in this case, and to our collective delight, says completely outrageous shit.

In an announcement made through his trainer and parental guardian, Cesar Gracie, Nick lets the world know he’s ready to get back to fighting, and wants a crack at Anderson Silva.

“He will respectfully ask for a fight with Anderson Silva, a fighter he respects and would like to challenge.”

The gentle choice of words is credited to the diplomacy of Gracie, who has ample experience cleaning up after the wreckage that is Nick Diaz’s life. Had Nick himself issued the statement it would have been more like, “Huh? I aint retired. I never said that. Yeah, huh? Why you always trying to start some shit? I wanna fight Silva. He’s a great fighter. I respect him, but he be acting like a little bitch sometimes. Let’s do it, Anderson. Where you at, homey?”

So let us dissect the poetic insanity of Nick Diaz. He never actually got to fight for the welterweight title. He fought Condit for the interim belt, and lost. He’s never fought at middleweight, and now he wants an immediate shot at Anderson Silva. Oh, and he’s still suspended for smokin’ them trees.

The Diaz camp is currently in the appeals process with his failed drug test. For this sort of thing, Gracie forgoes his diplomatic demeanor and gets raw, “For too long NSAC [Nevada State Athletic Commission] bureaucrats have acted with malicious incompetence towards the fighters. We will challenge them in court.” It’s imperative to note that whenever someone uses the term “bureaucrat” they’re desperate.

Putting aside for a moment that Nick failed a drug test following a title fight – which the athletes know they’re going to be tested for – attempting to get such a thing overturned is about as futile as Roy Nelson trying to get with Logan Stanton.

Let’s just hope that Diaz handles the inevitable failure of his appeal like a grown up and doesn’t retreat back to blunts and brownies, because as freakin’ awesome as that sounds, Nick is a great fighter who is wasting his prime athletic years being a lunatic when he needs to be fighting.