goodbye! (if you Google “Gus Johnson lipstick”, this is the first image).

The patron saint of March Madness buzzer-beaters will not be calling the NCAA tournament next year. has learned that CBS Sports recently parted ways with Gus Johnson, a play-by-play

mainstay on its college basketball coverage for 16 years, after the two sides could not agree on a new deal. Johnson has also worked as a play-by-play voice for the network’s NFL coverage since 1998.

This is great news for the ocular cavities of sports fans of all stripes.  I can see it now – next year at the NCAA Tournament, you’ll have a play-by-play guy, a color commentator and a bullhorn occupying the seat where Johnson used to sit, set to spontaneously go off during the final 105 seconds of any/every game, regardless of the score.  The NFL Network will apparently cease its idocy at Matt Millen (who has made me violently angry at my television) and Joe Theismann (who taught Jon Gruden everything he knows about being relentlessly positive about every player on the field).


For us MMA fans, it’s a double win – not only do we lose Gus (“GENTLEMEN, WE’RE ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!”), we probably gain Pat Miletich, a diamond in the rough that will no longer be left to toil on Challengers cards.  Oh, this is just great news.  I’ve written about how SF’s trio is the worst in all of sports, and this took away one toxic component of that revolting Voltron.  All we need is Mauro Ranallo to get caught sleeping with Frank Shamrock (in, like, a school playground) and we’re on the verge of a decent announcing crew!

Gus, you’re fucking terrible at announcing.