Last night’s event might as well have been called Strikeforce: Squash Matches, a worthy nod to Strikeforce’s long history of one sided events featuring their semi-stars creaming the poor cans placed before them. All main card fights went the way everyone expected them to … with the exception of Nate Marquardt vs Tarec Saffiedine.

Saffiedine took the illustrious Strikeforce Welterweight Championship off Marquardt by liquifying the meat inside Marquardt’s leg with an endless parade of kicks. Once that started working well, he’d fake to the leg and then punch Marquardt in the face for good measure. Nate, as shocked as everyone watching that he wasn’t winning, took the punishment for five rounds and lost a clear decision. Two judges saw it 49-46 while a third made it 48-47, possibly because he likes how Marquardt’s white skin sparkles like a ginger Twilight vampire.

In prelim action, KJ Noons beat Ryan Couture as expected. Unfortunately for him, the judges decided to give it to Couture anyways. Fortunately, the important people seemed to recognized this fact:

Hint hint, Dana White!