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While Junie Browning hasn’t been relevant to MMA for five TUFs now, that doesn’t mean his perpetual life problems can’t still rack up pageviews for the fight blogamasphere. Last we heard from Junie was the 2009 MMA Awards with the video you see above poking fun of the time he tried to kill himself. He ended up in the hospital, where he bugged out and attacked several staff while screaming “Do you know who I am? I will kill you and rape your family.” Oh, that wacky Junie!

Now in an international remix of the first incident, Junie busted out of a Thai hospital following a barfight and is now a man on the run:

Police have mounted a Phuket-wide hunt for an American man who started one brawl in a Phuket bar then continued it in the emergency treatment ward at Patong Hospital.

Authorities at Phuket International Airport are on the alert for the man.

Police have named the suspect they wish to interview as Allen Browning, 26, a Thai boxer who fled into the night on Sunday in Patong and has not bee seen since.

Earlier in the night, Mr Browning allegedly was seen beating up on an expat woman in a bar in Patak Road, Karon. He also lashed out at Thai female bar staff when they tried to intervene, police said.

This is all slightly different from the story Junie tells:

Wow, what a helluva weekend?!.. Some [expletive] named Sie Menzies and about 10 of his friends started a fight with me, I guess just to test a “UFC fighter guy” at his [expletive] little bar in Karan Thailand. Had a beer bottle and glass mug shattered on my head then to make everything better, stabbed severely by some crazy Thai [expletive]. On a positive note I managed to break a few orbital bones, at least a couple jaws and some unconscious bodies laying on the ground before I blacked out from loss of blood and apparently had to be resuscitated in the ambulance. So, how was your weekend?

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Junie is also claiming that he’s now being chased by the Thai mafia:

Apparently in the news story I fled the scene in the hospital before the police got there. It’s obvious by this picture that the police were already there. It wasn’t until hours later my girlfriends and my phone were flooded with phone calls saying that the Thai mafia were headed to the hospital to kill me did we leave. We understood that it is a very corrupt place so we had to flee and get in contact with the US Embassy.

Remember way back in the day when War Machine used to talk lovingly about the idea of moving to Southeast Asia where men can be men and getting into fights never causes any problems? This is what happens when you try that out in real life.