When the news broke that TUF’s craziest crazy person Junie Browning had gotten into a bar / hospital brawl in Thailand with the mob, we all had some yucks while saying “Oh that Junie.” We then went about the rest of our day, which for me involves eating pickles and trolling Sherdog.net. But Junie is still neck deep in the shit, and he’s sharing his story with MMA Weekly in the hopes that it will help him secure aid from his government. Here’s his take on the fight that started it all:

“It was no longer a man on man ‘bar brawl’ but a fight for my survival. I was trying to defend myself in the street when at some point I fell back to the ground. They drug me back into the bar where they pummeled me with punches and kicks. It was me against everyone. For a second time I received a mass blow over the head with a thick glass mug that split my head open and made me fall to the floor. I curled up in the fetal position, submissive, and I continued to be kicked and hit. My arms up covering my face I felt a slice to my forearm and another stab to my neck,” Browning told MMAWeekly.com.

This is slightly different from the original version told by Junie where he ‘managed to break a few orbital bones, at least a couple jaws.’ But I get it. This is a serious plea for potentially life-saving help, not your Facebook wall. I also have my doubts about Junie’s “We have no idea why these people attacked me!” line. This is a guy who once used his post-fight victory speech in enemy territory to declare “LADIES, AFTER THIS I WANT TWO LINES, ONE FOR SUCKING, AND ONE FOR FUCKING.”

But whatever stupid crap comes out of your mouth, it doesn’t make it okay for a dozen people to gang bang you with glass bottles. As for what went down in the hospital:

“They began to assess my wounds and stitch up the three large gashes on my head. Without any consideration to my safety or the events that had just occurred, they placed both Menzies, accompanied by MJ Castro, and the man who had attacked me with a mug, in the beds right beside me. Needless to say, I became furious and again words were exchanged. As it escalated a second time into a physical fight… Security and Patong Police arrived and restrained all parties. I was taken into the waiting lobby on a stretcher in handcuffs in front of numerous people to finish giving me medical attention,” recounted Browning.

“At no point was I rude or uncooperative with either the medical staff or the police. Taken into consideration the severity of my wounds and my demeanor and my girlfriend’s statement, the police officer removed my handcuffs. We were told by the officer that we should stay the night in the hospital to have my head monitored and would be able to go home with no charges the next morning. It was obvious to him that I was the victim.”

There’s way more info in the MMA Weekly article regarding the Thai mob coming after Junie and his escape into hiding. He’s out of Thailand, but still somewhere in that sketchy pacific rim and apparently still all messed up from the ass kicking he received.

“All we are asking for is help from people we can trust which brings us here now. We are victims of a viscous assault and attempt on our lives. We are seeking the assistance of the U.S. Embassy and want to clear my name of the wrong-doing I was accused of.”

Good luck Junie! I hope your government gives a shit about your plight!