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It looks like Jens Pulver may be angling to add himself to the “Sakuraba Club” of fighters who’ve been literally ripped apart in the cage. Pulver fought last weekend in Nebraska and got knocked out cold in the second round against 6-2-1 (7-2-1 now) fighter Timothy Elliot. Pulver then posted on twitter that he half-assed it during training only to hit the mat with his whole ass during the fight.

Pulver looked so bad from his 2006 UFC return until the end of 2010 that watching his fights felt like having a grown man’s bare ass rubbed in your face (of course, I know how this feels only because I asked Rakim Cleveland). But winning three of his four previous fights in 2011 made me hope that MMA’s foremost authority on video games could once again surge like a comet onto the list of B-level fighters before starting to talk like James Toney. Of course, I also hoped that one of these days, Charlie Brown would kick the football.

Based on economics, pride, and the power of denial, some fading veteran fighter is going to lose something much more important than an ear in the ring at some point in time. And it’s probably going to be someone who we know and like. I need someone to blame for all of this, and of course, I choose Dana White. Hopefully, along with the dental plan, every UFC fighter will henceforth be provided with a retirement annuity that includes access to palaces, sexy virgins peeling your grapes, and a cloud recliner instead of a steady stream of knockouts in regional D-league promotions.

Round 1 after the jump.

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