“I hope I don’t get any blood on my clown suit!”

When Hermes Franca was arrested last May for nine counts of sexual abuse and unlawful sexual penetration of a minor, our first reaction was, “with that hair, of course he’s guilty.” And it turns out that we were right. With Franca’s conviction and sentencing on two counts, we can now complete a Mount Rushmore of MMA perverts enshrining the pioneering penises, fingers, mouths, and guns of Joe Son, Joao Pierini, Mike Whitehead, and Franca. According to OregonLive.com:

A former Ultimate Fighting Championship lightweight title contender has been sentenced to more than three years in prison after being convicted this week of sexually abusing an underage female student at his Clackamas martial arts school.

Hermes Franca Barros, 37, pleaded guilty in Clackamas County Court on Wednesday to one count of unlawful penetration and one count of first-degree sexual abuse. He was sentenced to 3½ years in prison.

He was arraigned in May on seven counts of first-degree sexual abuse and two counts of second-degree unlawful sexual penetration. The remaining counts were dismissed. Barros will also have four and a half years of post-prison supervision and must register as a sex offender.

As you might expect in a case involving a minor and something this serious, there’s been a lot of secrecy and no one is really talking about the specifics on what happened. Hermes released a statement last June, saying he had “regrets” but that he had “trust in God and the United States Judicial System. I believe that in time the truth will prevail, as it always does.”

Well, the US Judicial System probably said “Plead guilty to two charges or we’ll try to put you in jail for life on all nine.” Then God was like “That sounds like a pretty good deal, Hermes. You should probably take it.”