Over the past few days, I was starting to suspect that the Gypsy Curse Lady had started leaving the secret ingredient out of her potions (I guess she ran out of Gary Shaw’s semen). Although the remorseless, decrepit hag with scraggly old cunt hair did her best to ruin UFC 141, her plans were foiled, as Alistair Overeem was granted a license by the NSAC even though he skipped a drug test and Brock Lesnar’s court date for letting deer meat spoil got pushed back to January.

But now everyone’s least favorite gorgon is at it again, proving that she hasn’t lost the zing in her spells. This time she’s working triple time to ruin the lives of MMA fans, taking out three UFC 142 fighters in one week:

First off, heavyweight Rob Brougton has been forced off the Brazil card and out of his fight against Ednaldo Oliveira.

Feared striker Siyar Bahadurzada is the next fighter to fall prey to injury. He is now out of his scheduled bout against rising Brazilian phenom Erick Silva.

Finally, Stanislav Nedkov has been forced out of his fight against Fabio Maldonado due to visa issues coming to Brazil.

The UFC is actively searching for replacements for all three fighters and new bouts should be made in the coming days.

It’s nice that this shrivelled up old biddy has lost some confidence in her powers and is taking a break from targeting main events, but I was really looking forward to seeing how Bahadurzada would do in the UFC. Would he continue kicking asses, or is the title of United Glory World Series Tournament Champion just window dressing? I want answers, goddamnit, but with this raging, nomadic whore taking her revenge on us all the time, I might die waiting. If I’m guessing correctly as to what this is all about, GCL, I’m sorry I didn’t sleep with you, and at this point I’d be willing to reconsider and take one for the team. I take back everything I said about your odor.