You know Guy Fieri, right? Everyone knows Guy Fieri. He’s the new Emeril, just less corny, and instead of a lame-ass chef’s coat he does his thing in casual attire and flip flops. Thank God Emeril never wore flip flops. Those toes probably look like chewed knockwursts. Anyway, Fieri is a huge MMA fan, and in an interview with he says he’s such a big fan that he wouldn’t mind filling in for Joe Rogan one day:

“When (UFC color commentator) Joe Rogan goes out with laryngitis, I want a shot. That’s how much of a fan I am.”

Rogan better watch his back. Fieri is an immensely popular dude. His hit show, Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives has become the Law and Order of the Food Network. The great thing about Law and Order is that no matter what time of the day it is that shit is on at least one channel, and I’m referring of course to the old originals and the wonderfully depraved SVU series, not the ones with Private Pyle and after. Triple D is getting to that point. And that’s a good thing. Mostly everything else on that channel sucks. Iron Chef America took a beautiful concept and fucked it up. Now instead of a weird guy in a cape biting a yellow pepper to start the show off, we get a B actor doing flips and having his staff refer to his as “the chairman.”

The only reason Rogan’s job is safe, for now, is that Fieri uses way too many phrases from Swingers. That “money” shit was cool for about a minute. Guy also needs to be much more honest if he hopes to commentate for the UFC. With his blunt commentary, Rogan has drawn the ire of many-a-fighter who could whoop his ass, whereas I’ve yet to see Fieri try some shithole’s meatloaf and go, “Oh God that taste like ass.”