Sick and tired of the incessant bitching and whining about watered-down FOX events, the UFC decided to go big for their final FOX show of the year. So on December 8th, they’re making a trifecta snowball of huge fights, packing the hell out of it, running it under cold water, and smashing us shitheel fans in our fat faces with an ice ball of certain death.

The card features a lightweight title fight between Ben Henderson and Nate Diaz, BJ Penn’s glorious return from semi-retirement to face Rory MacDonald, and a light-heavyweight battle between Shogun Rua and Alexander Gustafsson. So, how do you like them apples?

Oh yeah, they aint playin’ anymore. That’s some serious tussling. You should be excited anytime Nate steps into the cage because not only is he an electrifying fighter, but he’s a Diaz, and that alone increases the possibility of something insane happening by a factor of five. As for BJ, the right opponent can easily cause him to stop playing nice nice and revert back to the blood-licking savage we all know and love.

MacDonald, by not only calling BJ out but by being GSP’s less pretty doppelganger, is that opponent. And Shogun has proven that even with knees constructed of rubber bands and chewing gum and a gas tank dangerously teetering on E, he’s still a nasty sumbitch. Can he handle the range and pace of Gustafsson without looking like a guy who smokes three packs of Camel No-Filters a day? All I can say is at least it’s only a three-rounder.