Greetings, fools. As you’ve probably surmised, Fightlinker is in a bit of a transition period. But I say let’s make the most of it.

Since a few of you have tried to be witty by hurling half-assed insults in the comments section, we’ll make it a contest: Insult me employing all the humor, snark, creativity and brains you can muster, and to the best one I will mail a prize. But it has to be a good insult – and yes, I will be the judge. If it sounds like your insult was crafted in the dark recesses of your basement while your mom was getting railed by your overweight stepdad upstairs, I will sense those bitter tears in your eyes. If your effort betrays the fact that you ride around in a mobility scooter because in the fifth grade you realized you could skip gym and now your ass is fat, I will sense that laziness. SO MAKE IT GOOD.

What are the prizes? I don’t know. It could be this. It could be some old Full Contact Fighter t-shirts that were never worn and have been languishing in my drawer for years.  Heck, it could even be this thing Zuffa was giving out to the press at UFC 33:4

(Just the bag. I keep the arm.)

Judging by some of your efforts thus far, there are a few of you who are destined to lose. But I have faith that there’s at least one shining star among you.