So we’ve heard a bunch of names tossed out there as potential replacements for Josh Barnett. Vitor Belfort, Brett Rogers, Bobby Lashley, Ricardo Arona, Jeff Monson, and Ben Rothwell are just a handful of names that have been tossed around. Belfort looks like he’ll be the one stepping in and that should make for an interesting fight, considering Belfort’s speed and punching power. One name that has been left out of the discussion is that of Don Frye. Here’s what the man who practically invented the mustache had to say:

If Tom [Atencio] was smart, he’d have me fighting Fedor instead of whoever he’s hiring on a one week notice. My phone works if he wants a real fight with someone who’ll sell a fight in four days, somebody who will beat that bald-headed commie too.

[Fedor] ain’t seen anything I have to offer. He built his whole reputation as a waffle house chef. They’ve been serving him up ham and eggs with a side of canned tomatoes. I’ll bring it. And if he can bring it, you’ll have the best fight you’ve ever seen on the planet.

Obviously Don Frye won’t be stepping in to fight Fedor. But regardless of the age difference, the size difference, the skill difference, the speed difference, and basically the fact that Fedor would have an edge in practically every area of mixed martial arts, a Fedor vs. Frye fight would be interesting nonetheless. Why? Because Don Frye hates the sound of children laughing and absolutely loves the smell of burning gooks in the morning. And napalm. That’s why.

Let us also not forget about Frye getting as “drunk as anyone can get in 25 minutes” at an airport bar with Doug Stanhope. If I one day become half the man that Frye is, I will consider myself a success. Until then I’m going to continue to TiVo Dancing With The Stars and eat only organic foods.