Hello again, Jackals! I hope you’re having a pleasant day. It’s Dick here to make sure your good-morning blowjob didn’t go to waste with another edition of Depressing Link Day!

UFC veteran Matt Grice Clinging to Life after Car Crash

If you’re a fan of car crashes, the last Depressing Link Day post did not disappoint. This one won’t either. Last time we saw UFC fighter and Oklahoma City police officer Matt Grice, he picked up one judge’s scorecard in a tight loss to Dennis Bermudez at UFC 157. Now, he’s in critical condition and they’re picking pieces of windshield out of his brain. He was rear ended in a multi-vehicle accident and suffered the most severe injuries because he was not wearing a seatbelt. He was scheduled to face Jeremy Larsen at the upcoming UFC 166: Velasquez vs. Dos Santos. Now, it is a major news story when his pupils respond to light, indicating some residual brain activity. It is unclear whether he will ever regain consciousness.

Matt Riddle’s Bad Rib Forces Him into Retirement

After Matt Riddle cracked his rib, rendering him unable to fight in his scheduled Bellator debut September 20, Bellator told him they couldn’t find him another fight until the next tournament. Because Riddle can’t afford not to work for that long, he announced his retirement from MMA. He retires having only fought professionally for the UFC. According to Dana White, he was released from the UFC not for actually failing two marijuana tests but for “being a dumbass.” Hey, look on the bright side: he can still make a living writing for Fightlinker.

Alistair Overeem is One Loss from Doing Something Else, Hopes Testosterone Grows Soul

The Reem hasn’t looked too good in his last couple of fights, so if he loses to Frank Mir at UFC 167, he says he’d “better start doing something else.” He doesn’t say what he’s going to start doing, but he says he’s not going to retire, so what plan is he concocting? Is he going to grind up horse testicles and inject them directly into his eyeballs now? What else is left, Alistair?