If you’re a normal human being, chances are from time to time you’ve grabbed your sex meat and manually manipulated it until orgasm. It’s called masturbation, and it’s a sin against God and Baby Jesus. If you’re an average MMA fan, chances are you’ve watched a pirate stream, downloaded a torrent, or seen unauthorized fights on youtube or in gif forum. This too is a sin, but against The Lord Dana White, hallowed be his name.

And just like God, Dana is a wrathful Lord and he shall smite thee for streaming. Via his twitter:

@karateblackbelt the government is literally going to people’s homes and taking them to jail. Wait and c what happens in the next few months

A fan replied:

@danawhite To quote @joerogan “You can’t stop the internet”. On one of your own broadcasts to boot!

To which Dana sez, he sez:

@DearyLeary @joerogan maybe not but we can put Alot of people in jail.

@DearyLeary when people start going down it makes even the dumb ones go oh shit this might not be worth it.

Or maybe it just makes everyone hate your organization’s guts. I seem to remember the music industry trying something similar and it working out great for them. Not only did it stop music piracy, but they’re the most favoritest industry in the world now, up there with Big Oil and Banking.

Look, Dana. You’ve got a good problem: People wanna see your shit. ‘Alot.’ I know you’d rather get paid the 50 bucks for it every time, no exceptions. But I guarantee that pretty much every pirate that’s pillaged your booty has also padded your pocket via PPV buys, UFC tickets, merch, and other crap. Why u tryin to throw these fans in jail?