When a “woman” who actually looks more like a sexless, 500-lb tub of lard shows up to the beach in a thong, it certainly has a way of distracting our horrified (or lustful, if you’re into that sort of thing) gazes away from lesser fatties. In the same way, Mario Yamasaki’s call to disqualify Erick Silva in his fight against Carlo Prater on Saturday led to lesser scrutiny being applied to Dan Miragliotta’s questionable officiating in the Vitor Belfort-Anthony Johnson fight. But that doesn’t mean that Miragliotta’s officiating was any less of a shit show than it would have been in isolation.

Much was made of the fact that Rumble got tired before a single round was out. Clearly, when one’s entire job is to show up able to fight for three rounds (showing up at the contracted weight is evidently not even a requirement), there is no excuse for gassing like Johnson did. However, when a fighter is forced to shoot for takedowns constantly because he keeps getting stood up for no good reason, it can certainly contribute to fatigue. Johnson was essentially being forced by an over-demanding partner to perform reverse piledriver, twisted doggy, and the wheelbarrow when he signed up for (and was doing perfectly well at) vanilla-flavored missionary.

The fighters were restarted in standing position three times in a fight that didn’t even last a full round. Johnson was stood up after 36 seconds in Vitor’s guard the first time after popping out to attempt to pass. The second time Rumble secured a takedown, he was stood up in only 31 seconds. Rumble also secured a single leg and was working for another takedown against the fence, but this position was broken up in only 30 seconds. Not that Rumble was doing much in Belfort’s guard, but the frequency of standups was more fitting for a stadium crowd doing the wave.

The fact that these standups, which clearly benefited Belfort, occurred after Johnson missed weight by 11 pounds and then laughed about it was not only a bit suspicious, it led to open speculation in some circles that it may have been a fix. Of course, many of the accusers mysteriously misplaced their balls when they thought of car crashes in Oregon and “Fuck you, Loretta Hunt”. BleacherReport posted an article insinuating that Miragliotta was paid to sway the fight in Belfort’s direction, but quickly took it down and replaced it with a much tamer “Dan Miragliotta is a loser” snippet buried within an 18-page post. Several tweets on the subject were also deleted. As for me, I have no clue what was going on. What say you, jackals? Did Miragliotta get a little extra butter for his biscuits, or is he just an idiot who doesn’t understand that we shouldn’t be using a 30-second time limit for ground fighting?