In a move reminiscent of when they dumped a buttload of tea into their harbor to protest their taxes, the city of Boston has issued a ban on kids 16-years old and younger from attending MMA events unless they’re accompanied by an adult. The reasons cited include the violence of the sport, the fighters joking about rape, blah, blah, blah. What’s really interesting about this ban imposed by the City Council’s Commission is the big question that arises out of the move: How rich are the damn kids in Boston that they can afford to go to an MMA event by themselves? At a minimum, tickets for the worst seats in the house at a crappy UFC – where the main event is something along the lines of Diego Sanchez fighting an empty pinata and the undercard degenerates from there – will set you back at least a hundy, and if you want to be able to see the Octagon without binoculars, you’re shelling out a few hundred more. Can kids in Boston afford this? Seriously? Where do they get their money? Are they all drug dealers?

Here are some things I could afford to buy when I was 16, and keep in mind that I worked part-time washing dishes in a restaurant:

  • Maybe a Commodore 64 that I could plug into my TV (forget getting a monitor).
  • Some fresh Keds.
  • One third of an Adidas tracksuit.
  • The latest Public Enemy cassette tape (“Fear of a Black Planet”), and a large plastic clock to hang around my neck.
  • A baggie of oregano in Washington Square Park, which I was assured was weed, but you know how that goes.

So, Boston kids. They be rich or something.