“It’s a good thing I’m icing my balls right now, because all that fence grabbing got me HOT!”

BJ Penn has once again verified his BJ Penn-ness by confirming to us that he is in fact BJ Penn. Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Penn is now claiming that Nick Diaz beat him not because he set the record for most significant strikes in a UFC fight, but because he cheated. From BJ’s twitter account:

@nickdiaz209 Look how much bigger you are in this pic..I thought you were gonna scrap from the beginning homie? What was that coward fence holding strategy to tire out the smaller man? Street fighter my ass! I made you fight like glass jaw @jonfitchdotnet poser! I’ll be ready for that weak bs next time we fight!

BJPenn.com news director Pedro Carrasco also posted on the underground forum that BJ’s panties are in a serious bunch about what a coward Diaz is, and that Penn is officially unretired:

There is a reason why he posted it, He is fired up because now that the holidays are over and a lot of his post-fight distractions are behind him he has nothing to do but think about things and he is not happy with the way he performed in his last several fights.

I am not here to make excuses for him, but I am pretty sure people, at least with some sense of intelligence, can identify that the BJ that fought Edgar, Fitch and Diaz was not the same Penn that fought the Diego’s and Florians of the world.

Things changed, but as it sits right now, he is back. That killer mentality and fire is back and it’s been brewing for a while now and today’s tweet is a result of it just boiling over. Expect more to come from Penn for sure!

The fact that he looks an awful lot like a Cabbage Patch Kid makes all of this crying from BJ Penn extremely endearing. Even though he will probably never win another title in the UFC, he is still the UFC acting-like-a-child champion, and he will reign for quite some time if Jacob Volkmann stops using jokes written by six year olds. Didn’t scrap… Coward fence holding strategy… I feel like my mind is being raped. At least when Apple uses its reality distortion field, we get some cool apps out of the deal.

One can only hope that we will now be treated to another Steven Spielberg-directed video complete with a full orchestral score and six dozen dramatically slowed down angles of the one microsecond of the fight during which Diaz’ finger may have brushed against the fence. +100 additional points will also be awarded to Penn in the event that he sics his mommy (*dun dun dunnnnn*) on the Nevada State Athletic Commission for a serious dressing-down over the “fence grabbing incident”, plus an extra 5000 if it’s not just a verbal dressing-down.