[youtube svRNyua4BNk]

(The comments that started it all)

So you may have heard something about Chael Sonnen and Jon Jones getting into a twitter fight last night. I know, I know. Twitter has turned into a high school cafeteria where adults get to shoot off pissy criticisms and bitches at one another. And it’s permeation in MMA culture means we’re just going to have to get used to taking such things seriously. Shoot me in the head now. Because until you do, I’ll be stuck breaking down all the inanity.

It all started when Chael explained his reasoning for taking on Forrest Griffin at 205 pounds:

“I could go up to 205 and I could take Jon Jones’ belt the same as I could take his candy on Halloween – a little punk kid, I’d snatch it away all I want. But there’s something to be said in sportsmanship for earning your shot. And on the 29th of December, I’m going to go through Forrest to do it.”

Jones took the fight to the twitterverse, responding:

@sonnench the things you say about me hold absolutely no weight, you disrespected Anderson and his country but fought like a child.

He fought … like a child? What does that even mean? Are we just stuck on the kid thing because of Chael’s kid comment? That’s creativity one step above “I love lamp” man. “Well I will … take your Christmas presents, Chael! You’re naughty! Wait, sounds too sexual. Dammit, what now?”

If you’re going to disrespect me out of nowhere, at least disrespect me to my face like a man.

Says the man talking shit on twitter.

and you call me a punk, I’m more man than you’ll ever be. #Coward #Cheater

Not a bad dig at the end there, but it all comes off so fake. Jones already has an ‘authenticity problem’, and adopting the Sonnen smacktalk schtick at the first opportunity isn’t about to help with that. Chael’s response:

@JonnyBones Oh I plan too. Btw, how long did it take your parents to come up with your name, JON JONES.. #creative

Advice to @jonnybones. Take some of that Nike money, hire new writers.

Boarding plane to Oregon now, home of your corporate wage masters. Next time you are in town, knock on my door. Don’t drive. @johnnybones

Chael starts off weak with a Seinfeldian “What kinda name is Jon Jones? Really???” but ratchets it up with each tweet. By the end he seems to remember Mr More Man Than You just crashed his drunk ass into a telephone pole. I look forward to many more TUE vs DUI volleys over the next 9 months. Jones’ response:

lol you’re an idiot if you think I haven’t heard every dui joke in the book. I applaud original ones, that’s powerless

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words … the original ones hold all the power. I will applaud those, while a single tear slides down my cheek.

For everyone who thinks I’m “falling into chaels game” I know exactly what I’m doing.. #AreYouNotEntertained

Not particularly entertained, no. You may pack a wallop in the cage but your twitter smack is weak, Jon. Not only that, it looks contrived and fake. Anderson Silva had a legit reason for being pissed with Chael Sonnen. Hell, he had several dozen reasons. You on the other hand are just overreacting dramatically in the hopes that a feud with Chael will take you to the next level in the sport. No need for the fake outrage, bro. The fight will be big regardless. How about instead of trying to be like Muhammad Ali (he’s flawed anyways), you try just being yourself for once?