All that constant nausea and dizziness from his botched Meniere’s surgery has made Dana White a pretty grumpy dude lately. After his choice words about matchmaking henchman Joe Silva last week, White started his own Trail of Tears, releasing 16 fighters and making veiled threats to bounce as many 100 more off the active roster. So… it was probably a pretty bad time to for Jose Aldo to come out and decide he doesn’t want to fight Anthony Pettis, who’s been extremely vocal about dropping to 145 for the belt. Official UFC gossip girl Ariel Helwani posted this on his twitter during the 157 postfight scrum:

And everyone’s panties immediately got into a twist because fight ducking and fighters being picky about opponents is super popular right now. Dana eloquently explained why Scarface was not so excited to have Showtime invade his division:

Jose Aldo came out and said, “There’s no way in hell I’m fighting Pettis” … Andre Pederneiras (Aldo’s manager) was in England and he sat down with me and Lorenzo and was like, “We don’t think he deserves it.” What do you mean you don’t think he deserves it? “Well, he might be the No. 1 guy at 155, but how does that make him the No. 1 guy (at 145)?” Are you out of your fucking mind? Are you serious? Did you seriously just ask me that question?

Integrity of weight divisions aside, I’d love to see Pettis fight Aldo. The amount of thigh bruising those two could produce in five rounds would be amazing. Fortunately for us Dana’s new tactic of dealing with finicky fighters is to just ignore their wishes and make open threats:

Fuckin’ right, [Aldo] is gonna fight Pettis. That fight’s on. He’s going to fight Pettis, or he’s not going to like how this is going to turn out.

So… are we talking leg-breaking or knee-capping or Colombian neckties or what here?