[youtube rZKLy7CsHrU]

Check out Jose ‘Pele’ Landi-Jons, oldschool MMA legend, calling Anderson Silva a pathetic fatherless piece of sh*t sissy for 8 solid minutes. He’s pissed off over a part in Anderson’s biography where he’s accused of intentionally swerving his truck into a puddle to splash Andy and his daughter. And if you think that’s some seriously high school stuff right there, wait til you check out one of Pele’s other grievances:

One more thing I’m sure you remember is that one day I was training at the gym and you arrived with a bag full of gym equipment you had already won your belt… you looked pissed off and threw your gym bag heavily to the floor and turned your back to the mat and didn’t say a word to me. I thought to myself well he might have had some problems at home.

Then the coach told me to start jumping ropes. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Right there, you know what I was made of. I dropped the rope and went into your direction, extremely mad, shouting at you “WHY HAVEN’T YOU SAID GOOD MORNING TO ME? WHAT’S YOUR F*CKING PROBLEM WITH ME?”

I could see the fear in your eyes… you chickened out and the coach had to stand between the two of us. Then when you thought you were protected by the coach, you go like “Go f*ck yourself; I say good morning only when I feel like it.” I was wearing a pair of boxing shorts you had given to me, so I took them off and threw them at you saying “I only practice with my friends” and left the gym!

Note to all potential tourists: Brazilians take their good mornings seriously. If it weren’t for the discovery of coffee, civilization may have never taken hold.

Now as loathe as I am to suggest we should be encouraging this kind of pro wrestling behavior, Pele’s video does present some interesting opportunities. Anderson’s buddy Wanderlei Silva is out an opponent for UFC 147 and there’s nary an interesting replacement option to be found. Pele is a pioneer in Brazil. Bring him in to face the Axe Murderer and you’ve got two Brazilian legends facing off in your main event again. Add in Pele standing up for Vitor and Wand for Anderson and the UFC gets the bad blood it seems to enjoy promoting so much these days too.

Plus, Pele deserves a shot in the UFC.

So it’s win, win. Win. Win win win win. Win win win. Wiiiiiiin.