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Wow! Brock Lesnar and Junior dos Santos to coach next season of TUF

Sorry to shit on your whole “bookings” podcast, bossmen, but This. Just. Happened:

UFC President Dana White announced today that former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar and number one contender Junior dos Santos will match wits as the coaches of season 13 of the hit Spike TV reality series.

Following the season, which begins filming this month and begins airing on March 30, Lesnar and dos Santos will then match fists in the Octagon later in 2011.

So, let’s see: Brock never wants to fight again, Brock never wants to fight for a title again (for the record, it appears this bout will not be a five round interim title match, but it’s sure as hell the shortest path between Lesnar and a title fight), Brock doesn’t want to take tough fights – months of Schaudenfreude-laden kvetching (or, if you prefer, pointless putrid prolific pussified premature pontification) laid to waste by a single conference call.

Piece of advice to the rest of the blogosphere: know… something before you start calling a guy a bully with no heart, or writing off a 5-2 fighter with four wins against elite-level competition as “done”. Or, you know, keep doing that – I can always use the material and personal satisfaction of not carrying around a shovel so I can bury people when they stumble.

  • subo says:

    I can’t edit, link to or blockquote anything for some reason. The second and third paragraphs are direct quotes from

  • MadMan says:

    Brock sucks. Leave the writing to Ryan

  • thingvolds says:

    lol. so lame. brock lesnar, the juiced up wwe guy, an mma coach? as if mma didnt look enough like a joke already. it doesnt matter to me, since ive never watched a single full episode of the show. but its still embarrassing to real fans of the “sport”.

    too bad james toney didnt beat randy, he couldve been the other coach.

    what a fucking joke

  • scissors61 says:

    Interesting, very interesting. Should be a ratings blockbuster in any case.

  • scissors61 says:

    As for Brock’s abilities as a coach etc., please don’t delude yourselves. TUF is about one thing and one thing only now, and that’s promoting PPV fights between the coaches. It’s not about finding legitimate prospects, it’s not about who’s the better coach, or anything else. It’s all about selling headline fights for big bucks and if a decent, marketable fighter happens to emerge out of the cast that’s just gravy for the UFC. And I highly doubt casual viewers of the show are going to tune in and suddenly decide that MMA is farcical because Brock Lesnar’s on their TV screen shouting at some welterweights about wrestling.

  • subo says:

    Comprido is as legit an MMA coach as there is. Brock has a damn fine camp, and if you’ll remember. all GSP did was train with his guys and let his coaches coach.

    Anyway, there’s no way he’ll be as terrible as Rampage was.

  • Reverend Clint says:

    The Real World – Women + fighting + Booze + Meatheads= TUF

  • P W says:

    “Comprido is as legit an MMA coach as there is.”

    Hahahaha! You’re funny because you’re delusional.

  • Rikers says:

    How’s your HW GP now playboy?

  • FiveBoltMain says:

    Hot damn! This will either be an epic season (Brock talking shit to Dos Santos) or a snooze fest (Brock hiding in his shell). Either way, I can’t wait for the beating that Brock is going to get.

  • Billytk says:

    So we get to sit through months of Brock being a WWE “heal” then watch him get turtled for the 3rd straight fight by someone who can actually throw a punch and isn’t outweighed by 100lbs why don’t we all save some time and just watch reruns of the Cain fight or the 1st round of the Carwin fight that way we won’t have to spend months listening to the crap that spews out of Cock’s mouth but we will get to see the same fight

  • Reverend Clint says:

    i hope they have a good translator for both brock and JDS

  • YEAH RIGHT says:

    Subo, you’re a douche.

    TUF sucks dick, no matter who the coaches are. I used to only tune I’m for the free fights, but those aren’t even worth it.

  • mmariusp says:

    Subo (unemployed) in his moms basement with a stupid smug on his face.

    Sure, it´s a good fight and clearly the best option they got right now.
    But if anyone prefer this fight over the Strikeforce HW tournament they got to be insane.

    I predict JDS by brazilian mambo jambo KO r1.

  • Subbevil says:

    Do they teach putting “Wow!” in headlines at Fanboy Bloggers U? Or snotty, childish “told you so!”s at the end of it? A+, then.

  • Symbul says:

    Come on, even if you wanna shit all over Brock you have to admit you were surprised Dana came through with this.

  • Reverend Clint says:

    will be funny to see heavy weight fighters training with welterweights. cant wait to see lesnar get all KKK on some black hopeful tuf fighter

  • subo says:

    No announcement on the weight classes involved – and the Wow! was because I didn’t see Brock/JDS coming.

  • chim55 says:

    im with you 110% Subo, the demise of Brock was greatly exaggerated!

    Do you think all the haters actually have the brains to feel any shame for the audacious and now blatantly wrong proven claims they made RE Brocks mindset?

  • Symbul says:

    According to (IIRC) MMAFighting, the season will be all Welterweights.

  • Simco says:

    People replying without reading Subo’s comment that the last two paragraphs are a quote:

  • CAP says:

    You’re jacking it to Lesnar right now aren’t you Subo?

  • NinjaCodah says:

    I think most pundits were indeed a little too quick to write him off, but after a while even I started wondering if he’d actually come back. You never know with a guy like that. Him doing the ultimate fighter show is the last thing I’d imagine him doing.

    Now, i love Lesnar in the UFC and all, but i really hope that JDS knocks him out the way Cain did. JDS vs Cain is the fight I want to see.

  • Grappo says:

    another heavyweight season? ughhhhh

    And Wow! subo, you really turned it up to Douche-Factor 10 here.

    ah cool, didn’t know it was welterweights. I don’t know if I could have forced myself to watch another season of heavies.

  • Grappo says:

    Simco – “People replying without reading Subo’s comment that the last two paragraphs are a quote:

    Not the last 2 paragraphs, the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs are the quotes (which are now in the quotation box). The smug, self-satisfying last 2 paragraphs are all subo. How could you think they were from a article?

  • Reem.Hadouken says:

    wow. Desperate ploy here to make a big fight off Brocks name. Too bad He’s still going to suck when it comes fight time.

    Anyway, this is just more of Brock cashing in, and loyal UFC fans taking a big piss stream to the face.

    I really feel bad for JDS. It’s gonna be another long stretch without a real fight in the prime of his life. He’s wasting away under the shadow of Brock’s failed fighting career.

    Also, who the fuck wants to see Brock and JDS smack talk? Wouldn’t that be the point of the whole fucking thing? JDS is like the most humble and relaxed guy in the world. I doubt he’ll even rise to the bait in the first place.

    This has failure written all over it.
    And will probably expose a bit too much about Brock than the public needs to see.

    Piece of advice to the writer of this article: this article fucking sucks. Where’s the insight? where is the story? Oh, there isn’t one. It’s just you massaging the shaft on Cock Chestners chest.

  • subo says:

    Does it fucking occur to you that every heavyweight on Earth is dying to fight Brock Lesnar on PPV in a fight that matters? Guy is the first person since Tyson to sell two million-plus PPVs in the same year, and that’s NOT counting the 1.6 million he did against Mir. That kind of stage exists nowhere else in MMA.

  • SST says:

    Yeah! Another nail in the coffin. Let’s hope after his third beating in a row, Lesnar decides getting repeatedly hit in the face sucks no matter how much you get paid.

  • Reem.Hadouken says:

    Yeah JDS will finish the job Carwin started.

    This also calls into question the legitimacy of the UFC’s Heavy Weight title.

    Lesnar doesn’t deserve a title shot, if he wins or not. Which he won’t. Cain beat his ass in a few short minutes, and now there is a chance they will have to fight again?

    The UFC is jumping the shark.

  • mmariusp says:

    ^^nope they are not.

    I read somewehere that it’s going to be a 3 round fight and not for the HW title,
    It was the best option they had and JDS will get a paycheck.

    I’m wondering how much Zuffa/spike will pay Cock to do this show? sure as hell going to be more than Shamrock got for season 3.

  • Reem.Hadouken says:

    It’s not for the title, its for the chance to fight cain, which is still bullshit.

  • NinjaCodah says:

    How is the UFC jumping the shark again? Is it by having its HWs fighting each other and making money in the process? That’s not exactly new.

  • chim55 says:

    it is new to Strikeforce fans

  • frickshun says:

    ^^HAHA (isn’t that old?)!!

    Subotic–>why do you feel the need to defend Lesnar’s honor? I hate TUF. I’m glad they booked a fight for both guys. This will give Lesnar some time to shore up his striking & learn not to turtle up (I’m being serious). He may give JDS some trouble if he can get him down……& keep him down. He is still a much larger man.

    PS: Not kidding, Subes–>what’s w/the Lesnar Defence Force?

  • agentsmith says:

    Of course people wrote Lesnar off too fast, for reasons we all know. But this post still reeks of smug self-satisfaction like a hobo reeks of piss.

    Since JDS (presumably) doesn’t speak English, I guess Lesnar will have to carry this one with his awesome personality and compelling screen presence.

  • Reem.Hadouken says:

    Well.. if you’re a Lesnar fan the last thing you want is him to fight a real guy like JDS. It might be a murder.

  • Reem.Hadouken says:

    But I guess he could get some decent training along with the rest of the noobs.

  • glassjawsh says:

    won’t watch a second of this season. which sucks since last season got me into TUF again. i am officially bored by the UFC HW division

  • Blackula Jonez says:

    I am begining to pity Brock a bit, in regards to his progression as a fighter.

    Due to his wwe popularity, physique and mystique he was never given the chance to grow and flesh out his skills. Granted he did ask for this I still view it as detrimental to his long term career. This may have been brocks plan all along to maximize his earnings in a short amount of time, but it is a hard way to earn a buck.

    The man has had his biggest weakness exposed in his last few fights and is not getting the chance to address his holes or is he being given an opponent whom he can test new skills on.

    A loss to JDS will put brocks record 5-3, and another first round loss will drop lesnar down to bob sapp status in the eyes of many. Man I hope brock is drilling striking defense and how to wrap a guy up in his guard. I can see this as a replay of jds/werdum with brock eating an uppercut as jds bullrushes him and brock getting blasted when instinctively changing levels.

  • G Funk says:

    Subo is Brocks shield cause he was a Brockamaniac during his WWE days.

  • mmariusp says:

    brooke shields.

  • agentsmith says:

    “The man has had his biggest weakness exposed in his last few fights …”

    Getting punched in the head really hard… my only weakness! How did you know?!

    Seriously though, yeah, he didn’t react well to getting hit. Despite what Subo claims about his trainer(s), Brock needs to get his giant ass to a legit gym if he wants to stick around in this sport. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.

  • subo says:

    It’s more the double standard. If a former plumber or electrician walks into MMA with no amateur career and beats Heath Herring, Randy Couture, Frank Mir and Shane Carwin in his third, fourth, fifth and sixth career bouts, every fan is awestruck. But he used to be a pro wrestler, so BOO BIG BULLY QUITTER. That’s why I defend Brock.

  • frickshun says:

    ^^Did you just type that on your phone……during an earthquake?

  • mmariusp says:

    ^is that the reason??? seriously????

    I tought it could be that he has cross over potential and brings in new fans or that he is a naturally giftet athlete who almost succeded i 3 different sports?
    Or that he overcame “a life threatning illness” and came back to defend his belt?

    But you are defending Lesnar becouse he´s not a former plumber..
    Is that why you wrote this stupid post?

  • mmariusp says:

    Nope, I did it when I was fucking your mother in the mouth.

    Seriously, my grammar and english in generall isn`t any good, sorry about that.

  • frickshun says:

    Was she good?

  • Reverend Clint says:

    she is never good frick you know that better than anyone

  • frickshun says:

    Can you shoot lasers out of that eye??


  • iamphoenix says:

    what does lesnar’s dick taste like, subo?

  • Schrute Boxe says:

    when i first read the headline i thought it was written by ryan and meant to be sarcastic

    call me a negative ned but i dont think this is gonna be a good season. i’m interested in seeing how brock and dos santos interact but truth be told it’s a stale premise being helmed by one guy that openly dislikes media scrutiny and another that barely knows english and not well-known by casual fans.