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White Bear Lake High School takes measures to protect themselves from Jacob Volkmann

If you thought Jacob Volkmann’s run-in with the Secret Service over some tame-ass Obama comments was stupid, how about this: he was also suspended from his side job as a wrestling coach at White Bear Lake High School over the remarks as well. That suspension ended yesterday after Jacob Volkmann signed a document for the high school promising…

1. No disrespectful name-calling in interviews (ie. idiot, moron, etc.)
2. Can’t wear White Bear Lake HS clothes while being interviewed.
3. No interviews on school property.
4. No calls for violence against any member of the school board.

Jesus Christ, the scary part about this is the fact that THESE ARE THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF EDUCATING OUR YOUTH! Not only is Volkmann banned from using vocabulary from the Gee Willikers Book of Insults, but he’s not allowed to INCITE VIOLENCE AGAINST THE SCHOOLBOARD?!?

Shit. I was really looking forward to his imminent “Kill those school board motherfuckers!” speech. After all, the blood of idiots and morons must be shed from time to time in order to refresh the Tree of Non-Stupidity.