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War Machine is back!

War Machine
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Jon ‘War Machine’ Koppenhaver is out of jail and while there were signs that his stints in the clink had made him a more thoughtful and sensitive individual, his final jail blog didn’t exactly convey that side of him:

Next time you hear from me I’ll be a free man and back in the gym training like a SAV for this @BellatorMMA tournament on @SpikeTV. What, that coward and that sorry ass judge really thought they could stop ME? This lil’ year locked up like an animal was supposed to destroy ME? Don’t they know that I’m a fucking BEAST, and that all they achieved by fucking me was to add more HATE – more HATE to fuel the fire – more energy to ensure that I succeed? I love this. I love the thought of their looks of disgust every time they’re flickin’ through the channels and come across MY face. Nothing is motivating me more for this than the potential to ruin even a few minutes of their lives. They/you can say whatever you want, but I KNOW that them seeing me bounce back so quickly is really gonna irk them.

You see, my problem – jail – that’s TEMPORARY, a small hiccup in life. I’ll be right back to eating pizza and pussy, and living my dream, in just a week! It’s like nothing happened at all, just a bad dream. Now, this 6’3″ 300+ lb. pussy, his problems are much more permanent. 1) His ego is still hurt ’cause he picked on a lil’ guy and got wrecked. 2) He’s still fat and ugly. 3) He’s still broke 4) He still failed in the pursuit of his dreams and will never be anything more than a bully/bouncer. Why, shit, I’d choose jail over his life ANY day! LOL. And that judge, let’s break her problems down. First off, why prosecutor turned judge, everyone knows the $ is in defense. Well, either: 1) She was a shitty attorney and took the easy way (prosecution, ’cause in reality, you’re GUILTY until proven innocent). 2) She’s a man-hater and wanted to punish all those men who never gave her fat, ugly ass the time of day. Hmm… Most likely she’s a combination of both. I’d DEFINITELY rather be in jail than be a fat, ugly woman that can’t get any dick! LOL. I mean the only good thing about being a chick is the ability to get laid at will. Anyway, yes, all of your problems remain and mine are gone – so have fun pouting/stamping your feet every time you see my face or hear my name – though if you had any self-respect you’d just get it over with and KILL YOUR SELVES.

I laugh at you both, and I’ll never give-a-fuck! I know the rules now, I know what to avoid in order to survive in this emasculated society – all you haters are FUCKED! You’ll never be rid of me. I dedicate every future win to my HATERS, and there will be A LOT, so wallow in it! Ain’t shit that can stop me now!

Jon will be appearing in Bellator’s next welterweight tournament (the first one on Spike TV), which has generated some heat – both positive and negative – for the promotion. Here’s Bjorn Rebney explaining the decision to bring Koppenhaver in:

“If you track his [Koppenhaver’s] story,the first time when he was out, for about a nine month run before he got back in jail, he did nothing wrong” he said. “Knowing Jon he is going to say dumb things on a consistent basis but he didn’t break any laws, he didn’t punch anybody on the street, he was as good as Jon has ever been on an extended period but the judge had put him back in jail for something he had done prior to his last incarceration. So he told me, ‘Look, I need the direction, I don’t want to not know when a fight is going to be, I want total direction’, so that is what we gave him.”

“When Jon is not doing the wrong thing, he is a very talented and very aggressive fighter, brings the fight and makes for great TV. We had him sign originally when we were on ESPN Deportes over three and a half years ago and he said some incredibly stupid things and we cut him and then he went and had a run in different places and then got in trouble again and got out and begged us for a shot.”

“He is an interesting character but my biggest concern is if eleven weeks is enough time for anybody to get ready, having been away for nine months, against this level of competition. We will see. “

We will also see if Jon can make it 11 weeks without getting thrown back in jail too. Writing a soliloquy about how your judge and victim are punk ass bitches isn’t exactly the smartest first move out of the gate. Welcome back to the world of War Machine, where anything can and often does happen.