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Video game limbo

Despite the fact that pro wrestling sucks balls, they nevertheless manage to crap out a little chocolate darling every 9 months or so in what I can only describe as the most played out and shitty franchise in game history (right beside Tony fucking Hawk). Zuffa, on the other hand, has decided that gamers need to wait until 2009 to get a fix of MMA on a next gen console. WTF???

Taking two years to develop a product better make this the most epic fighting game in history. Knowing what general retards they can be, I decided that as the only experienced gamer here at Fightlinker (last game Ryan mastered was Mario Bros 3), I’d act as consultant. So here are my design proposals to ensure that the new UFC game will be fucking awesome:

    • Record hours and hours of shit talk from fighters, and play them randomly before each fight.
    • Tim Sylvia’s power move: Pants Shit!
    • Fighter Customizing options that allows you to finally remove god awful tattoos from those poor misguided fools.
    • Secret option that allows you to unlock Joe Rogan and Dana White as ‘fighters’.
    • Dance Dance Revolution after your win when playing Anderson Silva, Din Thomas, and Rashad Evans.
    • Story Mode- allow players to experience the true tragedy of the life of a fighter. Learn how exciting it can be to fall under the spell of alcohol addiction, go through a infuriating steroids trial, and more!
    • Manager mode: Play as Dana White! Underpay fighters and punish boring fighters by not giving them title shots. Also, put any division titles on hold indefinitely by quickly tapping on the “TUF” button.

      Ok, so these ideas are terrible. But are they any worse than having to wait two full years before a decent game shows up?

      • I bet they just waited too long to pull the trigger bc it takes forever and a day to make a good game these days. But yeah, BIG eff up on their part not to have this already.

      • marshal says:

        Maybe it will be like HL2, more than worth the wait. Doubt it though.

      • 2 years is quite a long time… the trailer looks sick though. Hopefully they write an engine so well that they can introduce new fighters to the game without much effort.

      • Wu Tang says:

        “Dance Dance Revolution after your win when playing Anderson Silva, Din Thomas, and Rashad Evans. ”

        AHEHEHE, so only black people can dance now? What happened to GSP with his break dancing abilities?

        Also add:

        Bonus mode, create a name for ken-fag-flow’s elbow!

        Monopolize the MMA INDUSTRY Co-op Online Mode! Watch out WoW!!!

        A virtual bonus fight between Tito and Dana after you beat the game with EVERY CHARECTOR!!! Punch Out Mike Tyson Style!!!

      • steve24 says:

        Theres a chance that many fighters in this game won’t be around in 2009. Plus, not to mention the new fighters that will making appearances in late 2008.

      • nem0 says:

        Maybe it’s because the last few UFC games suck so hard I’d rather watch 2 girls 1 cup in HD than play it again. I mean, when Def Jam can put together an MMA game where rappers beat the shit out of eachother for bitches and bling, the UFC has no excuse.

      • Ted Dibaise says:

        it really does take a long time to make a good game. id rather have a good game every two years that a churned out, barely upgraded version of last years’ game. plus theyre using a new, more powerful consoles so they still need to figure out how to maximize the potential of em.

        you should be able to download a song for your intro.

      • Lifer says:

        theyre maximizing a 3d image of bj penn circa 1999.

      • Thomas says:

        Usually it takes about 2 years to develop a good game for the next gen systems. Activision has the rights to the game so its up to them when it comes out.

      • dignan says:

        Beauty ideas.

        Might I add:

        -Fighter may purchase/sink/salvage sail boats
        -2 girls 1 Dana

      • dignan says:


        Smoke dope.

      • Terrence Halladay says:

        “Secret option that allows you to unlock Joe Rogan and Dana White as ‘fighters’.”

        i’m sure that actually will be in the game because dana white fancies himself to be such a tough guy

      • igorpunck says:

        good point Steve24, Liddel won’t make it past 2008 for sure. Half of the TUF guys will be shipped to WEC or other promotions (like Monson, Salmon, Rizo) Fuck Dana, corporate slut.

      • Ryan says:

        “Penn” looks like Thiago Alves.

        “Hughes” looks like Aaron Riley.

        Ha ha.

      • Hopefully it is alot better than all of the other UFC games. I have had shits that were more entertaining than UFC Throwdown.

      • nem0 says:

        Oh god, ACTIVISION?

      • Matt (tapout name shitstain) says:

        More Game Ideas-

        Create a character and see how fast you can break Rich Franklins nose
        Come up with the worst sponsor you can think of and display it on your shorts….Condomdepot
        Pratice your fake drinking of Xience cans postfight, and not get paid for them being your sponser
        Appeal to the CSAC and defend yourself against the steriods, i mean suppliments you took.
        Judge a fight like a total moron from your boxing judging background

      • LR says:

        *Easter Egg*
        Unlock a game of Russian Roulette between Vadim Finkelstein and Dana White in which is resembles seens from Deer Hunter.

        – Add a “Resign from contract” option that allows you into a secondary part of the game that allows you to have your wife do your accounting for you only to fuck it up unbelievably and make you look stupid
        The Challenge: Trying to tell everyone she’s a dumb bitch before Dana White outs you with the paper trail

        – Add a “Triple Threat Option” in which you go Adam Smith and decide which three drugs you will take before a fight to give you a performance boost
        The Challenge: Avoiding the Athletic Commission drug tester after the bout.

        – Add the “White Supremacist Hero” option in which you gain crowd support for a confidence booster
        The Challenge: Avoiding the mob of minorities that try to kill you after the fight.

      • marshal says:

        -max time length to stay #1 without fighting a contender
        -drinking match with Tank Abbott
        -Dana white cussing contest
        -remove the human blanket (much button mashing)
        -AA mode, game locks for 1 year
        -Tentative opponent mode (can’t contact him no matter the effort)
        -One punch knockouts and instant submissions (on you, not the computer, controllers will roll)

      • Ted Dibaise says:

        beat up your opponents dad in the parking lot, if you get robbed by the judges option