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US Customs to Lombard: “Fuck off Commie”

Sometimes shit is cursed. Today has been a cursed day for me … right from 12:01 it’s been a pretty big clusterfuck and to top it off I just managed to piss all over myself when I went to the bathroom. Ah well, at least I’m not cursed like UFC 78 is apparently cursed. If you thought things couldn’t get worse for that show, you were wrong! Well, you could potentially be wrong. Karo Parisyan’s opponent Hector Lombard may not be making the show due to America hating Cuba.

Let me take you back to a simple time when Red White and Blue = good, but just Red = bad. An upstart ruler by the name of Castro decided he’d rather deal with the Russians who were willing to trade with him instead of the United States of America who just wanted to overthrow him. Selling sugar to the Russians is good but selling real estate to them for nuclear missle silos is even better.

Thus ensued what’s known as the Cuban Missile Crisis and since then the USA has been kinda touchy about dealing with Cuba and Cubans. Nuclear proliferation 90 miles off the coast of Florida will do that to a relationship. That in a nutshell is why Hector Lombard, a Cuban expatriate living in Australia, can’t seem to land a permit to fight in the US right now.

Of course, things could work out:

On Monday, the fighter’s American representatives told that in spite of Lombard’s difficulties they remain hopeful he will be granted a P1 visa, which is available to athletes and entertainers coming to the U.S. to participate in internationally recognized events for a U.S. employer.

I wouldn’t hold my fucking breath. Will US Customs consider a UFC event as an ‘internationally recognized event’? Will US Customs even consider a UFC fighter as a ‘athlete’? Are there a group of people with tighter sphincters than the people running US Customs? I think not. Between this being an ultimate fighting event and Lombard being a dirty commie, I give him a snowball’s chance in hell of getting his paperwork through in time.

Sooooo … I wonder who Karo’s gonna fight if Lombard is off the card?

  • Jemaleddin says:

    Who should Karo fight? Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster, that’s who. – The 9 Manliest Names in the World

  • Audacity says:

    Since this card is already starving for talent like a refugee for bagel, it’s doubtful that a decent replacement will show up. No one wants to see the Karo match cancelled, but outside of Karo wrestling an imaginary bear, this match may go the way of Gabe Ruediger’s career.

  • steve24 says:

    I hear Kos is ready to go!

  • garth says:

    I’d go for the imaginary bear, that sounds fun. I bet Karo wins.
    Chris Lytle? Too bad diego already fought. Diego-Karo 2 would be a war (I hope).
    Whatever happens, don’t book him against Dick Pound.

  • I mentioned on the radio show that the UFC should consider bringing Diego Sanchez in. I have no doubt he wants to atone for his fight with Fitch, and Karo/Sanchez #1 was the best fight in 2006 bar none.

  • steve24 says:

    Is Diego allowed to fight so soon? I’m not sure he would want to fight Karo coming off 2 loses. I’d like to see Kos vs Diego one more time if possible before moves to LW.

  • ajadoniz says:

    i’d rather see kos-karo, just to hav kos drop farther down the chain.

  • Xavier says:

    If you’ve ever had to go through the American visa process, you’d know that it’s not just commies that get the shaft, anyone trying to immigrate legally has to jump through ten thousand fucking hoops. It’s absolutely retarded.

    Though they do still ask if you’re a member of a communist party (Oh, gee, who says yes to this?) but they don’t ask if you’re an Islamic radical. GO IMMIGRATION SERVICES!!!!

  • pf says:

    Haha you peed on yourself

  • sonzai says:

    I hear Kos is ready to go!”

    Actually, Kos has stated that he won’t be ready until early ’08 (
    I say give him Swick. He should be ready to roll.

  • Mobb Deep says:

    I don’t give a fuck who karo fights as long as he gets to toss someone on thier heads. If Karo is out of the card, then fuck it, I’m not buying UFC 78.

  • ajadoniz says:

    Xavier: do they really still ask if ur a commie? who’s the one asking, McCarthy himself holding a stupid list with the Dixie Chicks at the top of it?

  • Matto says:

    They need a bit of K-1 Freak Matchmaking Magic (TM) to salvage this card. Put Karo against an 8-foot albino boy with giganticism of the nipples. Grease them up with lard and surround the cage with mutant beavers for added awesomeness.

  • Xavier says:

    “Xavier: do they really still ask if ur a commie?”

    Yep, are you or have you ever been a member of the communist party. In 2007. It’s amazing.

  • Ryan says:

    It’s not that crazy… look at Venezuela, Bolivia, North Korea, Viet Nam, etc. They’re not very friendly towards U.S. interests. That’s basically what they’re asking, there’s no reason at all to actually fear communism as a legitimate threat to the world order anymore.

    I’m just shocked that there isn’t a streamlined process for this shit yet. How many foreign fighters does the UFC use?

    And actually… if you wanna know the real reason they won’t let Lombard in, it’s because of the Cuba Adjustment Act. Any Cuban that sets foot on U.S. territory (including Guam, America Samoa, etc.) can get paroled in for 1 year, and at the end of that year get their green card. Woo, special interests are grand!