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Ultimate Fuck Fighting

Check out this interesting article on MMA from the gay website

In the octagonal UFC cage set up over the Bell Centre ice hockey rink — octagonal perhaps because it better affords multiple angles than a square boxing ring — Mac Danzig is still on his back; his sweaty, pumped white torso is flushed with the auburn heat that auburn skin produces when it is aroused. His panting, fetching head has been pushed up against the cage by redhead Marc Bocek’s energetic pounding, as if the cage were in fact a headboard. Bocek isn’t making love, however, or at least not the vanilla kind. He’s hammering the living daylights out of Danzig with his gloves, stoking the crowd into ever-higher waves of frenzy. Although the Octagon is right in front of me, I’m watching all of this on one of the giant screens overhead: MMA is mostly a horizontal sport — one that requires multiple zoom lenses and a big TV to enjoy properly.

Bocek pauses for a moment to grab his partner/adversary by his hips, almost tenderly, and drag him backward while still kneeling between his legs, not wanting to break contact and negotiate that tricky “reentry.” It isn’t, though, out of consideration for his chum’s cricked neck. He’s worried that Danzig will use the cage to get up off the canvas — and then get him in the “bitch” position. MMA is all about fighting for being on top. (Or maybe for being a truculent bottom.)

The funniest thing about this article is that it’s one big analogy for ass fucking. Half the words used would fit better in a shitty Harlequin novel than a ‘reputable’ website for gay men. The author equates everything in MMA as homo-erotic, which is about as accurate as a frat boy equating the nudity in art as mindless titillation.

I don’t really mind people equating MMA to homosexuality … it kinda gives the sport a bit more depth in a strange sort of way. And it gets rid of a certain faction who are so phobic and pent up that they’ll never be able to grapple with another dude or watch a pay per view for fear of popping a boner or something.

But all that sexual stuff is in the eye of the beholder. If you want to see something sexual going on there, good for you. But I guarantee that the guys in the cage don’t, and neither do most of the fans. With the exception perhaps all the gay fans getting off while watching it? But I have to hope that most gay people aren’t thinking cocks and asses 24/7 and can appreciate the sport for the sport and not just for all that rubbing and sweating. I’ll assume that just like the girls, they think it’s an added bonus that MMA has the fittest athletes wearing the least amount of clothes.

Oh, one last note: I’m in this article! No, not as some kinda fruity advisor or anything. I was the “STOP LOOKING LADIES!” guy at the weigh-ins.