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UFC wins court case over Randy Couture’s name

After a week of legal maneuvering in Las Vegas court, the Ultimate Fighting Championships has won the rights to the name ‘Randy Couture’ and all ‘Couture’ related endeavors. The landmark ruling was announced this morning by UFC president Dana White and his team of lawyers.

“No longer can Randy Couture break his contract and use his name to promote other businesses related to ultimate fighting, also sometimes called mixed martial arts,” Mr White said during a press conference. “We spent millions of dollars developing Randy Couture as a brand, and we are happy to reclaim that brand and bring it home where it belongs.”

The dispute between the UFC and Randy Couture began months ago when the reigning heavyweight champion walked away from his title and publicly resigned. Since then the UFC has contended that Couture violated non-compete clauses in his contract by continuing to appear outside his home using the name they own.

With this ruling, the fighter formerly known as Randy Couture will now be known as Andy Bouture. “It was the closest thing to Randy Couture the court would allow us to use” said a disappointed Bouture. “Wait, can I say my old name, or will I get sued for that too?”

Things could get a lot worse for the former UFC heavyweight champion. UFC lawyers have just filed papers requesting that Bouture be cryogenically frozen in the basement of UFC headquarters until his non-compete clause expires in August. They claim this is necessary to avoid future confusion, as they plan on lending the name ‘Randy Couture’ to Mark Coleman for his fight with Brock Lesnar this summer.

“We can’t really have two Randy Coutures wandering around, now can we?” said UFC legal council Mark DiFello.