Seeing this kind of shit in 3D would probably make your face melt off, and your children would weep over your exploded body.
If you forgot there’s a non-Spike free Fight Night event coming up this Thursday night, the UFC will remind you by coming right at your face… but thankfully not in the way that Tito’s wife is accustomed to.* But don’t worry, you won’t get that sexy experience either way unless you’re one of the tiny minority of viewers who actually own one ah them new-fangled 3D lookity-boxes.
What I’m trying to say here is that “UFC Live 3: Sanchez vs Kampmann” will be the first UFC event ever broadcast in 3D. If you’re a prole like me who merely owns a 47″ 2D television, don’t bother rushing out to find a set of red-n’-blue cardboard glasses, there’ll still be the regular broadcast on the usual channels (Versus in the US, Rogers SportsnetONE in Canada). They’re also bringing former WEC commentator Todd Harris back from wherever he’s been and pairing him with Kenny Florian for the 3D broadcast, while us 2D viewers still get the ol’ Goldberg/Rogan show… I’m not sure why they figured they needed a separate commentator team for the 3rd dimension, but whatever.
If and when 3D TV catches on, imagine years from now when we all have 3D and the UFC broadcasts all their events in it… think of Pettis’s foot flying right by your face, or pretending to nuzzle that same face between Arianny’s glorious chesticles, or reaching out to touch Big Country’s equally glorious belly. That will truly be a brave new world, my friends. What’s next, Smell-O-Vision?
As for the card itself, Martin Kampmann will try to wash off the shame of being dry-humped by Jake Shields when he faces Diego Sanchez in the main event. Diego looked shitty and undersized in his return to welterweight against John Hathaway, but much better in beating Paulo “Evil Bert” Thiago, and he’s apparently put on enough weight now that he says “the options are closed for me to ever go down to 155 again.” Well hey, I tell you what… you could if you ” target=”_blank”>yes-cartwheel” joke multiple times, so this is what we got.