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UFC closing out the year strong, and busy

With just six weeks left in 2012, the UFC is fittin’ to put on a smorgasbord of lovely tussling before the year’s end. We have five UFC events coming up: two pay per views, two on FX, and one on FOX.

This Saturday is UFC 154, which is the welcome back party for GSP as he returns from a 19 month hiatus to see if Carlos Condit can “andle his riddum.” And Martin Kampmann will put his strategy of blocking punches with his face against the wrestling and power of Jonhy Hendricks in what should decide the next contender to the throne.

After that is the UFC on FOX 5 on December 8th featuring the beautiful trifecta of violence that is Ben Henderson vs Nate Diaz, Shogun Rua vs Alexander Gustafsson, and BJ Penn vs Rory McDonald. You do not want to miss this one, the lineup is better than most PPV’s.

Next up is UFC on FX 6 on December 14th, aka the TUF Smashes Finale. If you can handle both British AND Aussie accents perhaps you’ve been following the series online. If not, who cares, Ross Pearson will fight George Sotiropoulos in a coach’s battle, and Rousimar Paul Harris will face Hector “Bust” Lombard in a savage’s battle.

On deck after that is the Ultimate Fighter 16 Finale on FX on December 15th, which was supposed to be headlined by the two coaches with the most uninteresting rivalry in the show’s long and tortured history: Shane Carwin and Roy Nelson, but Carwin’s mangled old body had to go and spoil the party. According to the rumor mill, Matt Mitrione is the leading replacement candidate thus far. Other notable fights on the card include Pat Barry and Shane Del Rosario, Melvin “Fuck Jiu Jitsu” Guillard and Jamie “Don’t Call It a Comeback” Varner, and Mike “King Mullet” Kyle vs James “Sloppy” Head.

And last, but certainly not least, December 29th brings us UFC 155 where the nicest guy in the UFC, Junior Dos Santos will take on the quietest guy in the UFC, Cain Velasquez in what could be the absolute worst ever build-up to a major New Year’s main event. But it’s all good because the shit is righteous. The second slot is filled by Forrest Griffin and Phil Davis, and while I strenuously object to Rampage Jackson’s assertion that he should be the one fighting Forrest because “everyone” wants to see it, he’s right that the fight is probably going to suck a very large, very veiny schwanz.

So there you have it. Over the next six weeks we got MMA out the ass. And not just the UFC. There are also four more Bellator events before year’s end. And even though not one of them features a fight with their only two top fighters: Michael Chandler and Pat Curran, who’ve both criminally been given only one fight apiece this year, which makes absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever, hey those are still free cards, liberating those holiday dollars to either buy shit your loved ones will neither appreciate nor need, or to say “fuck them” and close the year out proper by treating yourself to a fatass steak and a nice rub ‘n tug at the friendly neighborhood stroke joint.