twitter google

UFC 78 just got a lot harder for Karo Parisyan

As expected, Cuban ex-pat and judoka extrordinaire Hector Lombard has been taken off the UFC78 card because he was born in the wrong country. Whether it’s killing terrorists or fucking over communists, America totally rules. It’s hard to sleep at night here in Canada knowing that dirty Cubans are allowed into this country. So anyways, to deal with this latest ass-fucking by God, the UFC is shuffling around the UFC78 card a little bit, putting Ryo Chonan against Karo Parisyan instead of against Thiago Alves.

This really sucks for Karo, in my opinion. Parisyan vs Lombard worked because it was gonna be entertaining to watch two Judo masters shoot eachother across the octagon like slingshots. Lombard didn’t stand much of a chance overall, so I didn’t have to worry about Parisyan losing and pushing a potential title shot back to 2010 or beyond.

Now though, the UFC has put him up against a very dangerous but generally unknown fighter in Ryo Chonan. Yeah, Jordan Breen might be able to walk you play by play through all his DEEP bouts, but any UFC ‘fan’ dumb enough to buy the 78 PPV (“Ohh TUF winners fighting, how compelling”) aren’t gonna know who this dude is.

For the education of the dumb people who come to this site (ted, please pay extra attention), here’s some things you should know about Ryo Chonan:

  • Defeated Anderson Silva in 2004 using a Flying Scissor Heel Hook. If you think that sounds awesome, it is. I’d link to a youtube video of it, but those fuckers at Zuffa took it down.
  • Actually finishes fights. Well, sorta. Since 2004 he’s had 13 fights, with 6 of them going to decisions. That’s better than a lot of other snoozers the UFC imports from Japan.
  • In addition to beating Silva, Ryo has wins over Mach Sakurai, Joey Villasenor, Carlos Newton, Antonio Schembri, and Mr Choke Roan Carneiro. Villasenor stomped Ryo’s face in and smashed his orbital bone but still couldn’t finish him.

Translation: Ryo is one tough motherfucker.

So what’s so terrible about this switch up? Well, I don’t think Karo Parisyan should be challenged like this right now. I’ve already said that Karo should get first crack at the winner of Hughes/Serra. All man-love to GSP aside, that frenchy’s already gotten two title shots and Karo’s still waiting for his first. Being a ‘warrior’ and ‘accepting all challenges’ is all fine and dandy, but Karo needs an agent that keeps him from accepting dumb last second fights like this that don’t accomplish anything for his career.

If some news came out that Karo would get a title shot for beating Ryo, then I’d be all for it. But as it stands, that’s not gonna happen. So this fight is nothing but a very dangerous opportunity for Karo to once again get sent to the back of the line again.

While Chonan vs Parisyan is much more competitive than Parisyan vs Lombard, Joe Six Pack ain’t gonna give a shit if Karo beats Chonan. The flipside of that coin of course is that losing would be a pretty big blow to his popularity. That’s always the problem with bringing these foreigners in and dropping them in the deep end … you can seriously fuck up your existing star power because fans don’t realize what a tough SOB Chonan really is.

  • Swedish guy says:

    The video is still available at other cool places, like if you look at teh googlez, you’d probably find this:

    And by the way, while I agree with you on one hand (I’d hate seeing either of these guys lose), you can’t legitimate parisiyan getting a title shot if he can’t defeat chonan. What I mean is, a title fight should always feature the best fighters and if karo can’t take the heat he shouldn’t be in a title fight.

  • Jemaleddin says:

    “Can’t take the heat” – good one.

    Karo can be such a cocky asshole – I’d like to see Chonan beat him up, just to hear him whine about it.

  • Lifer says:

    The Piranha! I hope he’s still training with Team Quest.

  • Swedish Guy : I agree, to get a title shot Karo should have to beat the toughest guys … but this isn’t for a title shot. Karo still has minimum 6 months till he gets a shot
    (quick math for you all: 2 months till Hughes vs Serra + 2 months minimum till Winner vs GSP + 2 months until Winner vs Karo maybe?)

  • Accomando says:

    “…Whether it’s killing terrorists or fucking over communists, America totally rules…”

    Sweet, isn’t it?

  • Swedish guy says:

    Well, you said it fightlinker, this sucks for Karo because Ryo Chonan is one tough dude, but the part I don’t agree on is “Well, I don’t think Karo Parisyan should be challenged like this right now”. My opinion on this is that in the über-stacked welterweight division, no one can opt to sit out or just be fed the Shonie Carters or Lodune Sincaids while waiting for a title shot. Karo has to continously prove he’s the one in line, or his next-in-line-for-the-title-shot status will be as worthless as Fedor’s ranking as the number one heavyweight or Josh Barnett’s claim that he’s the undefeated UFC Champ – bullshit.

  • Matt says:

    America, FUCK YEAH!

  • garth says:

    I believe Karo will winz him. Karo’s got a seriously unorthodox style for a lot of people to deal with. I agree that Chonan is a tough hombre, I watched him get pulverized by the Spider before pulling that miraculous sub out of a video game stored up his keister. It’s easy to forget how tough our favorite Armenian is as well, especially since he realized cardio matters. If he shows up in shape he’s game enough to take this guy.

  • Tommy says:

    Good. If Karo swears he’s a champ this is a way to put up or shut up.

  • garth says:

    hell yeah tommy. You wanna be the best, you gotta beat the best. The UFC may be fucking around with bullshit matchups babying fighters they want to “grow” (Count Decision Douchebag for example) but some fighters demand the best competition. Forrest Griffin and Randy Couture come to mind.

  • Fred says:

    Damn it! It’s not a “flying scissor heel hook” (that Chonan used on Anderson). He used a flying scissor body-lock to take Anderson down. Then he subbed Silva with a regular ol’ heel hook. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A “FLYING SCISSOR HEEL HOOK”!!!!! Anderson lost that fight by Submission via heel hook. Period.

  • When people ask how Gary Goodridge fucked that dude up, they always say he caught the guy in a crucifix and wailed on him with elbows. Sure technically it was a finish by strikes, but you gotta appreciate the full situation surround it to get a feel for how FUCKING AWESOME it was

  • ted dibiase says:

    ryo chonan sucks, just like all japanese fighters. little midgets.

    karo will obliterate this fool and all you ppl will have another name to add to your “i hate pride” list. karo getting a title shot? never. dana only gives those to white and black fighters.

    id rather see karo fight that huge chinese dude who always fights jean claude van damme in his movies.

  • Accomando says:

    “… karo getting a title shot? never. dana only gives those to white and black fighters. ..”

    Karo is white, for all intensive purposes, freak.

    The Armenians, besides being part of the indo-european peoples, like the celts, germans, latins, and others, are also Christian, and are considered “white”.

    Current event: Armenians were slaughtered by the muslim turks in WW 1, and now the turks are throwing a hissie cause we want to condemn it as such, time to admit past mistakes.

    Furthermore, Armenians, along with Persians (about 55% of Iranian pop.) are techinically “white” and definitely not Arab, as I presume you think he is.

    In fact, Arabs hate persians and armenians with a passion and vice versa.

  • Everyone hates everyone over there

  • ted dibiase says:

    dirty arm-pit-menians.

    i bet karo smells like a enchilada

  • Accomando says:

    “…Everyone hates everyone over there…”

    Everyone hates everyone everywhere, is just depends on what level you want to take it to.

    “Over there”, a good ole beheading comes into play more often than not, along with ethnic clensing.

    The “Religion of Peace” has an interesting interpretation of “peace”