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UFC 119 Picks

Now the Duran Duran songs make sense


I decided to bring on a “special” guest picker today for UFC 119. Finally you guys can bitch about someone other than me and Subo… or should I say Subo and I.

Stephens vs Guillard

Reverend Clint- I’m never going to put my trust in Melvin ever again so I’m going to say Jeremy takes this one via knowing more than striking and not doing coke. I don’t care that Melvin has been made mediocre by Greg Jackson, Stephens is better.

Stephens via TKO/KO rd. 1

Glassjawsh-Even though stephens is one tough honkey, greg jackson has finally given guillard some of the disciprine he racked. he’s probably still on coke but at least now he’s no longer a walking submission.

Guillard via “holy shit” ko

Sherk vs Dunham

Reverend Clint- If Sherk tries to keep this standing he is going to lose not because Dunham is better at striking but because he is taller. Sherk actually has long arms for his size but is too short to use them. If this goes to the ground Dunham is done. But Sherk thinks he is the white Manny Pacquiao.

Dunham via UD

Glassjawsh- unfortunately for sean sherk, sean sherk is an idiot. if i was a freakish wrestler with tiny little carny arms, I would not stand and trade with people. I would take them down…..a lot. but apparently at this point in his career the muscle shark is content to be a bloated human punching bag for anyone with even mildly decent movement and footwork.

Dunham via UD

Serra vs Lytle

Reverend Clint- Man this fight has the making of a Fight of the Night, Lytle has won 4 and Serra 1. Both guys are middle of the road fighters who generally have exciting fights. Matt Serra has a previous win over Lytle during the Finale of TUF 4 but that was 4 years and 7 of the Nights ago for Lytle.

Lytle via UD

Glassjawsh- I have no clue who is going to win, but this fight is going to be ridiculous. gun to my head id say serra has the edge based on competition faced, but who the fuck knows and honestly who the fuck cares?

someone via something of the night

Noguiera vs Bader

Reverend Clint- After watching the UFC 119 Countdown show this fight is far more interesting to me. Like Glass I dont like who bader stands for but god damn is he a good fighter, one of the few to come off TUF in recent years. Lil’ Nog is a guy who has fought everbody but never really done anything, at least compared to his borther. Speaking of which why couldn’t their parent have named them even slightly more differently? It’s hard enough to tell them apart but there names are only 3 letters apart! Well atleast they weren’t named something gay like Audio Science and Jermagesty. Back to the fight I think bader has more to offer in terms of wrestlng and maybe even striking, I know lil nog is supposed to be some great amatuer boxer but has he really shown it?

Bader via TKO Rd. 1

Glassjawsh- I seriously hate ryan bader’s face, he looks like every frat boy i ever threw cups of beer at during a beer pong tourney for leaning over the table like an asshole. that being said, lil nog gets way too much credit for his jits considering he hasn’t submitted anyone that mattered since dan henderson in 2005 (who the christ is dion staring anyhow?). jason brilz showed that nog can be controlled on the ground by a (large) competent wrestler and since bader’s wrestling > brilz’ wrestling, as long as bader ignores his natural tendency of swinging like a dumbass (and you’d better believe he’s a dumbass) he’ll earn the right to have his face turned into ground beef by jon jones via mildly boring UD

Cro Cop vs Mir

Reverend Clint- Good match up and a good fight for either guy. A win for Cro Cop says “yes I really am not as terrible as you might think.” Meanwhile a win for mir says “hey I can take on a vetern striker and not end up drowling in a corner.” Whoever loses should fight Mark Hunt even if he loses to the funny tall guy who thinks his ex-wife is dumb. Mir has more tools and has been facing guys who are better, not counting Roidereem and his barrage of junk shots. I hope Cro Cop wins just so he doesn’t go back to Croatia and eat his shotgun but mir has this fight.

Mir via TKO Rd. 2

Glassjawsh- The only way i can explain my feelings about this fight is with an analogy, and like all of my analogies it’s about my junk. Even though my brain identifies a woman as bad news (ie. she is a skank/trailer park whore/known tranny/very obviously pregnant/my mom’s friend) my penis rarely listening to logic and does whatever what it wants.

The same goes with this fight, the logical thought process that ultimately concludes that mir has too many avenues to victory over a broke down cro cop is overcome by the undeniable fact that Mir is a cocksucker and i hope that cro cop punts his goddamned ragtop onto meridian street.

As always my penis wins the arguement.

Cro Cop via High Kick

  • Tanhauser says:

    I can’t believe how good these matchups are. so many variables.

    this is gonna be a great card.

  • YEAH RIGHT says:

    Jawsh is the special guest? Weak, get shawn!

    No offense glass, you just blow. To be fair i didnt read any of your pics.

  • Reverend Clint says:

    he’s not bad. I’d like to have Omo do it next big card

  • sandstorm says:

    im diggin glass’s picks, especially the guillard one. thats gonna be a fun one to watch

  • Symbul says:

    This card gets flak for a low marquee value but I’m excited to see every single one of the main card fights.

  • Sodomize Intolerance says:

    “me and Subo” is actually the correct grammar. In English, we usually put the other person first for politeness, as in “Subo and me,” but it’s not strictly necessary.

    The trick is to remove the other person to check for correctness. One would never say, “Finally you guys can bitch about someone other than I.”

  • godzillad says:

    ^ Giving Clint English lessons is like trying to teach a gardener to do Astrophysics.

  • subo says:

    Fuck it, I’m too lazy to edit.

    People can cry about this main event all day, but 1) it was precipitated by an injury and 2) shut up. Stylistically, it seems custom made for Cro Cop, especially given Mir’s previous willingness to stay in his opponent’s comfort zone. I’m smelling upset here. Cro Cop via TKO, round two.

    I remember getting into a row with Leland Roling at Bloody Elbow about how highly Little Nog should be ranked. At the time of Affliction, I had Lil Nog about 8th, and Roling thought I was flat out batshit crazy for not having him top five. Nog beating Forrest would have made me look dumb. Bader is going to make me look schmart. Bader by something violent or a lopsided decision).

    You’re not going to catch me picking against Chris Lytle anytime soon. Everyone reading this should try to be more like Chris Lytle (this is especially true for fighters, fire and/or people included). Lytle via decision.

    If Dunham turns out to be anything but a killer, he’s going to make an awful lot of people look foolish. Nobody really took Edgar seriously at 155 until he beat Sherk, and Evan should follow the same path here. I have a funny feeling that whomever wins is fighting Gomi. Dunham via decision.

    I’ll tell anyone that listens how much I love Guillard. Wait, there are people reading this? Well, check this – I’ve got Guillard beating Gilbert Melendez in a fight. He’s very athletic (some may even say explosively athletic), unbelievably experienced for his age and finally with an amazing camp. Stephens can change any night with one grenade-behind-the-ass punch, but I’ve got Melvin via TKO in round two.

  • Reverend Clint says:

    a mexican talking about gardeners… typical

    btw i did it on purpose

  • bradford621 says:

    Eastern europeans were too poor to afford fine musical instruments back when cro cop was a kid so all anyone could get was a synthesizer. THATS why he loves all that techno shite. cause american made baller instruments can’t be bought by third world croatians usually! but who cares WAR COP KNOCK OUT FATTY MCGEE

  • Simco says:

    “No offense glass, you just blow.”
    “‘Me and Subo’ is actually the correct grammar.”

  • 32hunter says:

    Synthesizers were fucking expensive in the 80’s

  • Komodo says:

    Holy fucking caption win 😀

  • Omomatta says:

    “I’d like to have Omo do it next big card”


  • glassjawsh says:

    i knew my personal troll would make an appearance. didnt figure hyhypt would get in on the hate though.

    this was just a trail run and “guest” pickers should be reserved for people that are smarter (omo) and funnier (frick) than me

  • YEAH RIGHT says:

    Did you miss the “no offense” part?