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There’s something about Thiago

Up until this point if you asked me what I thought of the name Thiago I’d have told you it was a dumb name suited only for Brazilian gutter rats. But upon careful deliberation and review, I have now decided to name my next kid Thiago on account of it gives him a 85% chance of being a fucking assassin in mixed martial arts. Just take a look at the track records of the three Thiagos in the UFC:

Thiago “Pitbull” Alves : Smashed Tony DeSouza and Kuniyoshi Hironaka, beat Chris Lytle by cutting open his eyelids. His only losses in the UFC are from Jon Fitch and Spencer Fisher back before he was ‘on’.

Thiago Silva : You may remember Silva as the dude who knocked out Houston Alexander like it wasn’t a big deal. I actually felt sorry for Tomasz Drwal because of the severe beating Silva put on him at UFC75. It wouldn’t surprise me if they implanted Wanderlei’s brain into Thiago’s cranium, because the dude’s got a similar in your face style.

Thiago Tavares : I’ll forever be thankful to Thiago Tavares for starting Ultimate Fight Night 10 off with a bang … he stuffed Jason Black like a turkey and then triangle choked him halfway through round two. Past that point he’s won 10 of his 13 wins by sub, so you know he’s slick as shit. They just matched Tavares against Michihiro Omigawa, which is probably gonna be a fucking route.

But hey, it’s not just UFC Thiagos that are kicking ass. The combined record for all the Thiagos on the Sherdog Fight Finder is 65-12, not too shabby at all!

And just a note for my hetero site-partner Jake: Thiago is the Brazilian take on Portuguese Tiago, which in turn came from the Hebrew Ya’akov (somehow), which lead to Jacob. So in a fucked up way, Jake is actually a Thiago. Hardcore!

  • el feo says:

    Jacob “Tito” Ortiz…whoooa.

  • steve24 says:

    Great post. My friends and I were joking about a month ago that the name “Thiago” is just a recipe for disaster. The stats explain it all. If your pregnant Brazilian woman and it’s going to be a boy, name him Thiago and put him in a Karate class.

  • Thiago Silva wins because he’s “Thiago” and he’s “Silva” … the holy names of MMA

  • Higgz says:

    I went to college with a guy named Thiago. He threatened to kill me over a game of foose ball. I told him I was going to “kick his ass all the way back to Brazil”…oh, I miss Bible College!

  • RL Dookiefuck says:

    You forgot Diego “Mexican Thiago” Sanchez.

  • maafaka says:

    the link in the thiago silva’s paragraph points a bloodyelbow post on thiago alves…
    please change that ASAP..
    otherwise ill start seriously doubting your professionalism…

  • Earhole says:

    That interview is about Thiago Alves idolizing Monkeyboy. Thiago “Brazilian Necktie” Silva isn’t mentioned…

  • Xavier says:

    Thiago Alves, once he gets back in the good graces of the UFC and on main cards is someone that the average MMA fan will go nuts over. The guy is just a brutal animal. Couple of more fights under his belt and I could see him dominating the entire division.

  • ajadoniz says:

    lol u had me laughing on this one. very good. i’ve also noticed the ‘silva’ streak in mma.

  • Thomas says:

    Thiago = hardcore mma ass-kicking machine.
    Silva= unstopable wrecking machine

  • So Thiago + Silva = OMG FANBOY SQUEEEE!

  • kermit_01 says:

    Yea but Silva is like Smith in Brazil. Go to a mall and yell Sliva and half the crowd will turn around. Yell Thiago Silva and your likely to get 2 or 3..