The UFC tries to retire Randy

October 11, 2007 – 5:44 pm by fightlinker

Oh, UFC. You’re so sneaky with your Orwellian double-speak. The Bush administration should get you guys on the phone and ask you about damage control, because while you’re not good enough to fool the hardcores, your responses are more than adequate for those drinking the kool-aid. The news that Randy Couture has told the UFC to fuck off is still rockin’ the internets like a tsunami off the coast of Indonesia, and already Dana White has issued the following statement:

“I’m not surprised at all by Randy’s decision. I talked to Randy several weeks ago and he said that if he couldn’t fight Fedor, then he has nothing left to prove in the sport of mixed martial arts.

He has been doing a lot of acting, and I know he is in South Africa right now filming a movie. I think it’s a great move for Randy’s acting career to retire from fighting while he is on top.

As we all know, Randy retired before. The landscape in MMA changes every day. So when he is ready to come out of retirement again, he is still under contract with me, and I’m ready to promote him.”

There’s one big glaring problem with the above statement: Randy never said *nothin* about retiring.

The UFC seems to have a serious fucking problem with preemptively retiring fighters. Do you remember after Ortiz-Shamrock 3, they asked Ken if he was going to retire and he basically gave a non-commital answer? And then the announcers said “SHAMROCK RETIRED!” and they played a 10 minute tribute to Ken Shamrock retiring? Yeah, that was classy.

Also, do you remember all that Liddell retiring hogwash that was going down after his loss to Jardine? Well, for those of you who didn’t know, the majority of those rumors were caused by Dana White spending a lot of time waxing philosophical with reporters on the idea that Chuck might very well be washed up.   I’m sure that really made Chuck happy.

And now looky here … Couture says “I’m resigning from the UFC” and once again the UFC is saying “OMG RANDY RETIRED. GOOD LUCK RANDY IF U COME OUT OF RETIREMENT WE’LL SEE YOU THEN LOL!!!!!11!”

Yeeeah right.