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The UFC is fucked if they do, fucked if they don’t

Jeez people, I’m sorry if I disappointed some of you by not blaming Dana White for Randy Couture’s sudden departure from the UFC. I know you come here for seeking validation for your anger, and when I’m not raging against the same machine it tends to piss you off. So when I blamed Randy Couture’s manager / penis sheath wife instead of UFC brass, it didn’t go over so well. ‘Swaarwerd’ wrote me this email:

hey dude what is up with your couture post? You spent the whole time spouting hateful and sexist comments againt randies wife when you should really be going against the ufc for not paying its fighters or giving them the respect they deserve. hopefully youll point that out because i think its worth saying

Okay, first off I’m an equal opportunity hater. I’ll call Randy a bastard and Kim a bitch. There are many cases where men are also bitches (see Kevin Iole for proof). If Kim had happened to be a man, I would have ripped on ‘him’ just as much. It just happens to be that Randy Couture prefers to have sex with women instead of men (supposedly). And he lets these women wear the pants in the relationship. Kim decided the UFC wasn’t treating Randy fairly, so Randy left. Catalyst: Kim.

That doesn’t absolve UFC brass of all liability of course. But I’m a bit more sympathetic to them than I am to her. The UFC is in a tricky situation now where they’re fucked if they do, fucked if they don’t. Everyone is kicking and screaming for fighters to be paid more. But because the UFC paid all the PRIDE guys a retarded amount of money you now have half the UFC fighters ready to revolt over it.

The UFC is paying PRIDE guys based on their perceived rankings … Shogun, CroCop, and Wanderlei were all signed and paid mega bucks based not on their drawing power but on the idea that they were three of the top fighters in the world. This is lucky for them because the average Joe six pack has never seen a PRIDE event and often times never heard of these people. It’s very interesting that the UFC decided to base their pay on talent-level … it shows a certain respect for the sport that I don’t think was noticed by many people.

But this is also where the UFC is getting into trouble – UFC fighters see these guys with little to no draw coming in and making 10 times what they are. It’s understandable that some friction is created, especially when these mega-buck fighters end up getting tooled by TUF alumni (who are in turn being tooled by serf-like contracts).

Yes, I agree that UFC management has to turn their asshole-meter down from an 11 to a 6. At the very least they have to stop emasculating their fighters and prospective fighters constantly to the press. But when Randy Couture says he’s leaving the UFC because ‘the money’s not good enough’ / ‘the money’s too good for others’, it just sounds stupid. I have no doubt that after Couture signed his contract, the pay scale for other top fighters went up. And I have no doubt that when the time came for Couture to re-sign, his pay would have been upped again above the pay of these other guys. But you can’t sign on the dotted line in March and then bitch about your deal several months later. That’s fucking lame.

  • Karl says:

    Agree completely.

  • Rollo the Cat says:

    Right now, Randy’s Captain America image is carrying him in the public opinion polls. In the next few days, people will settle down, look coldly at the facts and demand Couture be strung up.

    I don’t care really, he was retiring after his next fight anyway. Dana is no hero or villain to me and I don’t worship athletes. There is plenty of blame to go around and there will be plenty of personal insults that can be hurled at both parties by us internet fans in the near future.

  • nois29 says:


  • Karl says:

    Oh and Dana needs to stop speaking like a badass to the press. It comes off extremely unprofessional. I curse like a sailor, so I’m not exactly a prude.

  • Shaun says:

    The reason the UFC had to pay the Pride fighters big bucks, is because if they didn’t they would have gone elsewhere. I highly doubt it was out of respect, or skill-level. It was more about keeping so called “big names” out of other organizations. By buying out the big named fighters, they were essentially forcing all of the other organizations to have to create stars, which can be very hard if you aren’t getting any exposure.

  • Andrej says:

    good post, Randy Couture sound’s like a person who dosen’t give a fuck about the sport which I watched him fight in. Sure he might be a great coach or a good movie actor but it suck’s that I can’t see him in the near future fight again.

  • I know … who says they “Bitch slapped” a fighter’s agent. Yeah, that’s a good idea.

  • Mobb Deep says:

    “But you can’t sign on the dotted line in March and then bitch about your deal several months later. That’s fucking lame.”
    That what I first thought. How is he gonna complain now all of a sudden. Plus, he makes a shitload of money considering he gets PPV %, which Pride guys don’t. Anyways, I thought it was about “competing” for Couture. Well, that was a lie. All of a sudden hes crying like a bitch because he thinks some guys are making more than him. Maybe he forgot that he wouldn’t even be in South Africa shooting a movie if it were not for the UFC (see any PRIDE fighters in Hollywood?). Captain America, nah, Captian Lame.

  • garth says:

    None of the fighters signed from Pride have done shit, have they? Cro Cop has a win over a scrub and two losses, big Nog has one win, Werdum, Herring, etc haven’t done a thing. Hendo had what I thought was a great fight, but it was a loss. Anderson Silva was signed from Cage Rage and Rampage came from WFA when they bought them out.
    SO, as someone around here stated, they paid some-odd bushels of money for a video library? I bet Sakakibara is rolling around on a huge pile of money, surrounded by nekkid geisha girls, laughing and laughing

  • Audacity says:

    The reason why I’m not blaming Dana White is because it’s become far too fashionable to talk trash about the only face of the UFC anyone knows. Dana White is the president, but he doesn’t run the whole show and does not control Randy Couture. Randy made his own decision to quit based on the current circumstances. Dana White gets blamed for everything because he made the poor choice of being President/Public Relations. But, now we’re blaming Dana White specifically for not signing Fedor, and Dana White specifically for Randy Couture quitting, just like we blamed Dana White specifically for the UFC 78 card. Let’s get a show of hands who blame Dana White for 78. Alright, now let’s get a show of hands who blame Joe Silva, the UFC matchmaker. I know it seems a bit faceless to criticize the “UFC”, but those little semantics make the difference.

  • Audacity says:

    In conclusion, blame the right people in management, not just the president, you fucks.

  • ted dibiase says:

    how ya gonna talk shit about pride guys losing after chuck liddell lost to Rampage and Jardine Can? tim sylvia lost a 50 yr old man. Rich Franklin was destroyed by an outsider. Fighters lose, its the name of the game. No one goes undefeated, except Fedor.

    party on wayne, party on garth. you brain dead moron

  • Accomando says:

    Whatever, Dana is a rat, and Randy is a pussy whooped badass who gets led around on a leash by his ho’s.

    Anywho, F-bang Dana White, people just don’t like the way the guy looks, add in his over-blown attitude about everything, and you are beginning to get a radioactive personality.

    There ARE 2 sides to every story, you are correct. With that said, fuck dana white.

    The Ferttitas, the real reason why the UFC is still afloat, seem like respectable people, they need to whack Dana White.

  • Frank says:

    I think fucked if they do, fucked if they don’t is the perfect name for this article on more than one level. Although youmake a good point audacity, the messenger must always be shot and further up in one of the posts someone mentionned Randy’s Captain America image is carrying him. That’s all true, Dana’s trying to pull the UFC completely out of the hole it was in (no less than) 5 years ago by simultaneously buying all the big ticket names in MMA, unanimously making his the international MMA organization…that requires money. All these big ticket names, who up until recently had a nice nest egg with other organizations that could throw all of their funding to promote them are accustomed to getting what they want. If Dana equalized the playing field overnight the UFC would crumble and he would lose the money backing his marketing campaign that is making the UFC as popular as it is. Get pissed at Dana, he did what he had to do. Get pissed at Randy he did what he had to do. C’est la vie.

  • Tany says:

    How about what Randy wants? If he wants more money, then ask for it. If the price ain’t right, then he doesn’t have to do it. If he feels disrespected, then he can leave. He’s not in the position that other young fighters are in, where there’s nothing else better. He’s got other projects all over the place. It’s been said that his contract is “fight by fight”, which I assume gave him the option to get out whenever he wanted. Randy has had a history of conducting himself professionally, whereas UFC’s integrity is constantly in question. I’d put my disappointment aside, for the possibility of the UFC being less berating over fighters and other orgs.

    He waited till the possibility of fighting Fedor was gone before he quit. If Randy does not feel respected, then why stick around, especially if he won’t be able to fight Fedor?

  • Swedish guy says:

    Who is this randy bloke everybody seems to be talkin about?

  • All i know is he sells shirts

  • Xavier says:

    Amen. The rush to attack Dana seems more generated out of Pride’s death than the facts surrounding the retardedness of Couture’s “resignation.”

  • kermit_01 says:

    Exactly! If you locked yourself into a crappy contract then work it out when its time to sign a new one. Don’t bitch about the money, you signed the contract. Deal and sign a better one next time.

  • Ryan says:

    I think people are forgetting the most-scathing remark by Couture: bald-faced lie. He’s not whining about his salary per se, he’s pissed about being lied to. His letter talks about lack of respect, not lack of money. Yes, part of being respected is getting paid what you’re worth, but that’s not everything.

    Couture is pissed off, and made a publicity scene. If it was merely about the money for fighting, why would he also give up the commentating? That’s the easiest job in the world, and he gets front-row seats for every match.

  • Tommy says:

    I knew she was no good. Acts likes she is Ricky Bobby’s wife and a close relative of Miss Elizabeths. Did he cry about the contract when he signed it? Then he shouldn’t care what the next man gets paid. He don’t like his contract fine but don’t not like it because someone else was offered more. That’s dumb. (Ricky Bobby) Funny how all these ‘spiritual’ fighters forget what their ‘Word’ says about this stuff they do lately. Like Randy wanting more because the next man gets it, Matthew ch 20 vrs 1-16 speaks on this. Stop letting women dictate your balls and brains guys. Randy and Tito. Like your cousins of Sampson or something. Like Matt Hughes love of God when he clearly doesn’t actually read his Word either. Matthew ch 6 vrs 5-6. calls him a hypocrite for televised ‘street corner’ prayer. Now I’m not so Godly, in fact not at all, but I know the Word better then these ‘Godly men’ do.

  • Tommy says:

    Or it’s all an act by Couture and White to draw Fedor out. 1 of the 2.

  • Jake says:

    Tommy, add me to your live account so we can play some freakin’ Halo3. Look for my codename: DullJake

  • winklepicker says:

    TUFNEL: You can”t fucking concentrate, because of your fucking wife, simple as that, alright? It’s your fucking wife!

    ST. HUBBINS: She’s not my wife!

    TUFNEL: Whatever fuck she is; alright, you can’t concentrate, we can’t fucking do the track.

  • marshal says:

    She gave him the strength for 2 incredible wins. She’s OK in my book.

  • jazzn says:

    Why are you getting on the guy’s wife for christ sakes? You are clearly sex-starved. Stupid horseshit.